Hi, me again. I know, I know, who decides to make monthly posts but then posts a mid-monthly update? Sigh. Lately there has been too much going on, to compensate I've tried my best to diligent write it all down, someday I think I'll need the strength that I'm hopefully leaving here.
My Doctor had Graham and I on a long regime this month, I've already written exclusively about the procedures and blood work and what have you below. The main concern of mine has been the wait for all of the tests- what does it all mean?
Graham first, since I get all of the attention usually. They specifically looked at his sperm count, motility, morphology, liquidation and the ability to move. He was very much so middle-of-the-road on a variety of scales. According to the RE, this may indicate one of two things. One, this was a bad batch, as they reproduce very frequently and sometimes are subject to less than desirable specimen. Two, Intrauterine Insemination may be the only way we can get preggo (now and in the future). In July there is going to be an additional round of testing for him, to figure out which of the two it may be.
My turn. I received excellent news on my Anti-Mullerian Hormones which indicated that my body has a very high egg reserve! Finally a bit of great news came in our direction. Time for the bad news: My Vitamin D levels were incredibly low though, and for the next three months I am supposed to take multiple pills to boost this. My Follicle Stimulation Hormone were also low, which is unfortunately since this is the section in the brain that tells my body that it is or is not a good time for a baby. After lots of questioning, it was determined that this is coming from psychological stress. And my Cortisone levels were too high, which goes back to the Follicle Stimulating Hormone and, you guessed it, stress. I have got to figure out a way to eliminate more of it from my life.
The good news is now that I know what some issues are, I can begin to work on them. In addition to working on stress and Vitamin D, I am required to get 7-8 hours of sleep, eat every 3 hours (150 calories), no aerobic exercise, little carbs, practically no sugar and eat lots of fat. Oh, and there is a good chance that I am pre-diabetic and have insulin resistance. Anyone else's head spinning? Mine certainly was as I scribbled the notes ferociously as he spat them out. Phew.
Out of my own request, we are pushing back the IUI for a bit. My doc informed me there was no medical reason to, however I decided that I wanted a break to mentally and physically prepare myself for these next big steps. This has been extremely overwhelming process! It hasn't helped that Graham can never get off work long enough to go to my appointments with me, so I tend to call the shots all alone. I want to make sure I don't slip back into a depression because that was a miserable time. The newest game plan is for me to get back on birth control for a few weeks, Graham will have another Semen Analysis test and I still need to call to schedule the IUI. We have an approximate date in mind, but that can definitely fluctuate according to my body.
When I think about each of these things... I'm anxious. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I feel overwhelmed. I feel confident. I feel sad. I feel happy. I think about another negative test. I think about finding answers. I think about how much effort I have (and will have) to work for this future kiddo. I cry a lot. But know I can do hard things- I will do hard things.
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