Today was the most incredible day of my life. Graham and I both watched a screen and we saw heartbeats. YES, plural! We watched on the screen as we saw two separate babies, our babies, in their own little yolk sacs. There was magic as we saw the flicker of beating hearts. Amazing, inspiring, breath-taking, there isn't enough words to describe those moments. We are having two! Two different and surely wonderful spirits. I don't even know how exactly to feel other than elated beyond belief. I can't believe it. I honestly can't believe that there are two little peas-sized babies inside of me. What a miracle of all miracles!
     Of course, leading up the appointment I was a maniac. Every other day I either told Graham a new symptom I was feeling or either that I knew it was going south. The buildup to the ultrasound was so difficult; horrendous flashbacks of the first pregnancy taunted me. The journey has felt so bleak and so devastating. Hearing that my own babies were thriving filled me with overwhelming love and gratitude and happiness. I'm only 6 weeks, so there is definitely a long way to go but we have already came this far. I've never been this far!
     There were just two of us for so long. It felt so hard to wait for our family to expand. It was the most frustrating, devastating event for us to constantly feel so stagnant. It's been just me and Graham, but we wanted more. And now our family is going to double. Two of us and two children. Is that hardly crazy? I'm in awe.
    I don't know what else to say. There are babies in my belly and they have left me filled with pride. They are working so hard right now to grow their eyes and spines and livers. To follow along their story is a wonder. I can't believe that they are actually growing into tiny people. One day they'll be tangible. Soon I'll be able to identify them with a gender and a personality. That is spectacular to imagine. My sweet, precious babies. I pray that they continue to develop and grow in all the right ways. I am so desperately in love with whoever is listening to my heart while growing their own.

July 4th, 17

    I would say I'm smiling too large in basically every single picture, but what can you do, ya know? Any day I get to spend sleeping in, grilling out, hanging with family, watching a processional of fireworks and on the beach is a good time to me.That was basically the gist of it- lots of lounging. At one point I was sitting outside in the shade alone with my thoughts while listening to some tunes and knitting and I felt so amazingly at peace. Just so peaceful. It was a great day.

Sometimes, I talk too much too.