I'm 26 years old today. Yesterday we had a small gathering to celebrate with our immediate families. As a very special gift for myself we found out the babies' gender. Happy birthday to me!

    It was such a beautiful day! I knew that any combination would make us happy, so that was never an issue. Graham and I are so excited to welcome them to our lives! We love you, Baby A and Baby B.

Oct. 18th, My Due Date

    Today is the Due Date for Baby #1- I had cemented this day in my mind as a joyous event. Then I began to find it with deep sorrow and anxiety when it went awry. To be pregnant again has softened the blow (in a completely indescribable way) but it hasn't erased it. All day I've wondered how differently life could be if this little one was still joining us this week- What would it be? Would we share the same birthday? How would I be feeling right this minute? Meanwhile I've prayed incessantly over the two babies still with me with vigor today. How grateful I am for them; I love them oh so fiercely. How can one person constantly feel so many emotions? What a weird conundrum. 

    I'm still thinking of you Baby Alexander #1.