This month was the first full cycle I have spent with my Reproductive Endocrinologist, a fancy term for a fertility doctor. As mentioned in my video, this time has been alllll about a faux cycle. From here on out, I'm going to go over my regime from this month and how my body has responded to it.
It started late last month with a medication to induce a period. As soon as that began, on Cycle Day 5-9 I was on an ovulation medicine (Clomid), followed up by another medication named Doxycycline to ward off infections for upcoming procedures. Amidst that, there have been 4 different days where I've given blood work to check a numerous amount of levels in my body; I still have 1 more blood draw before this section is complete.
The next step was, by far, the most painful and frustrating! I had to go into my RE's office for three individual appointments. The first was a follicle scan via vaginal ultrasound (don't you just love the vivid details) which was certainly the easiest, probably because I have had about 15 already. This did shed light on a few things: by CD11 I had already ovulated! This information was interesting for 2 reasons.
#1- A typical woman's body ovulates on or around CD14/15, meaning my body had done so very early.
#2- My body always ovulates very late (we're talking CD18-24, if at all) unless I am given a shot to induce it.
Immediately following this appointment I was given a cocktail of medications for my Hysteroscopy; they pulled out all the stops with LorTab, Xanax and Phenergan. In about 15 minutes I was feeling right, Miss Independent had emerged ready to climb mountains or kick down doors. My RE came back again with a brief overview. Basically, they would use a camera to see inside my uterus and cervix. It began as the assistant pointed to the outside of my uterus, which I had never seen and likely wouldn't again she said. I acted interested because while it really was fine and dandy, the medication was making me so drowsy my eyes could barely stay open. And then, a change. There began to be intense abdominal pain about 3 minutes in, so harsh that it took my breath away. I held my crossed hands over my forehead, my resolve gone, and teared up when I thought about Graham. Why didn't I ask him to come? I tried my hardest to think in a stream of consciousness about what I had read about the Hysteroscopy to distract myself. Cervix opening is small. Camera is large. Lots of meds. Shouldn't hurt. Oh my freaking luck. I need Graham. I can do this! No I can't. But I will. Why is making a baby so hard? And when will this be over? I think I can, I think I can.
After 15 minutes, it was over. It was difficult, but I did it. I didn't make a peep the entire time, while I really wanted to cry out left and right. My doctor began to spout off about his findings, there was a polyp (abnormal tissue growth) somewhere in the uterine cavity. More than likely, it would have still been painful but he had to use an even larger camera and use sharp tools to remove it, which brought on the extreme discomfort. The good news was that it didn't require surgery to take out. The bad news was that it was probably stopping any egg from implantation.
It made sense! An explanation. I have wondered extensively why, when I'm doing everything the doctor says, was my body not acting accordingly. It felt nice to have another piece of the puzzle solved.
But my day wasn't over yet! No way. On down to the real operation room I went. My last appointment was a Hysterosalpingogram. This long word means to simply insert dye into the cervix, to make sure my Fallopian Tubes aren't blocked. The desire to close my eyes was as strong as my urge for a Hershey's Cookies and Cream bar- desperate. I held them open as much as I could while the easy procedure was going on. "Your tubes are like your legs, long and skinny. The dye went through. They're clear." Relieved to hear good news I yanked off my ugly hair net and was instantly scolded. After that, the day's a big blur.
After that appointment I slept 16 hours! Since I never use strong medicine (or any really) it certainly did a number on me, let me tell ya. However, besides the exhaustion and an occasional twinge in my tummy, I felt great. From here on out, my days were casual, the majority of test work was complete. Then CD18 rolled around, as well as my natural cycle. Yep, instead of waiting 6 months to show up like usual, it comes at the most inconvenient time. Interrupting and annoying as ever, not to mention we wouldn't get pregnant this time. As soon as this wrench was thrown my way, I threw up my hands. WHY? Life lately has just been one thing after the next. I called my doctor with the news, after a few sniffles to Graham, and we are hoping it won't interfere with my other blood work too much. But that is to be determined. Onward I trudge, I reckon.
Sometimes it feels like things are progressing s l o w l y, while other times I get too much information all|at|once. This is in combination with losing the desire to continue on with all of these treatments. If you haven't experienced infertility you probably aren't aware of the financial, physical and emotional strain that is constantly present. For instance, my face has been more broken out with acne the past few months than it ever was during puberty. As if I want more to worry with, if it ain't one thing it's another.
So to wrap up the total sum of everything we just need a clean bill of health from Graham and blood work from me to confirm a thang or two. Then in two weeks we are meeting back up with my RE for a consultation over everything this past month has taught him. It is here that we will decide what to do and when to do it. Alas! I can do this! I think so anyways. Seriously though, 80% is just a matter of finding ways to remain positive :)
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