For the spookiest time of the year, I crafted 2 costumes. I present: A gangster and his flapper ;)

 

 

 

Birthday Weekend 2015

    For my birthday, I had decided to do something low-key but still fun. As many times as we have been to Walt Disney World, we have never stayed at one of the themed resorts on property. There was a special Fall discount that we took advantage of and we booked 2 nights at the Coronado Springs!

    Then we made reservations for a birthday lunch at Le Cellier. This restaurant is a steakhouse in the World Showcase in the Canada area. We both had a wonderful Canadian meal- complete with poutine! After that we spilled around the park for a minute before checking into our room. We took a quick nap then came back to enjoy the Food and Wine festival. Graham and I tried things from New Zealand, South Korea, Italy, Japan and Germany. It was really so much fun! We kicked off 24 with a great start. 

    The remainder of the weekend we rotated between visiting each of the other parks. The heat wasn't too overwhelming, luckily. Instead it was fairly overcast and windy. Besides the Brown Derby that we ate for lunch on Saturday, we nibbled here and there, but G+I really kept our amount of sweets down! We shared everything besides 1 square of caramel that I kept for myself :)

    I know we do visit WDW very often but I still enjoy it every time. 

Epcot:

Hollywood Studios:

 Magic Kingdom:

Animal Kingdom:

Birthday Girl // 24

  24. That's how old I am today. I remember when I graduated my Mama said that after high school you'll blink and it's gone. Now I can nod my head in agreement. How am I already 24?
    This has been the first year that I haven't looked forward to my birthday. Last year I pranced around with my Birthday Week (that we actually celebrated), while this year it just feels stale? I guess some of it may have to do with the different mindset I'm in now, I feel a little more bitter, more anxious. Last year I thought I would be a mother and about to wrap up with school by now. Neither of those has happened yet and I guess you can say I'm disappointed in myself. It's making accepting another year older a little bit more hard.
    But I have to remind myself! Look for the positive. I am so blessed, so extremely blessed. While my year has been stressful, I have friends who never even saw this age. And this is supposed to be among the best time of my life. I'm grateful to be alive!
    I guess maybe that's something I need to work on until my next birthday, seeing the good in all situations. Let's start with here: This morning I woke up to numerous celebratory messages from friends and family. Our bedroom, bathroom and living room had been decorated by a sneaky G. S. Alexander. I was gifted with a manicure and massage (Last night I told myself that I was going to book one! Thanks for being on top of things Grahammy!) I'm going down to Disney World to spend the next 3 days. I'm a lucky girl.
    As a 24 year old woman (I know everyone older than me is scoffing) I hope do to great things! To seek for the good and be the best I can be! To make it an age to remember! So, here's to me for sucking up my pride and embracing all that comes with 24.

Girls Trip to Disney

  

    Two weeks ago 3 ladies, 2 babies, 1 double stroller. 3 suitcases, a breast pump and pumpkin shaped cookies were thrown into one car for a girls trip down in Orlando, Florida, home of the Mouse. The three of us took turns driving the car, wedged in the back seat between the car seats and pushing the stroller all over Magic Kingdom. We ate as much as we wanted. We rode roller coaster and kiddie rides alike. Our time at the MK was short; we finished up fast passes,enjoyed a Dole Whip, watched the parade and took pictures of Echo and Sophie in front of Cinderella's castle. Both of those smiley girls were fantastic all day! Afterwards, we hit up our hotel, huge shoutout to Molly for arranging it! I picked up an order from Olive Garden and we stayed up past our normal bedtimes to talk late into the evening. It was here when I found about Acey's ordeal at the MTC, I was pretty emotional about it all, so I really appreciated Kipin+Molly's words and our joint prayer more than they know.

    On the second day we knew that our main objective was to rush Epcot's Food and Wine Festival. Before the World Showcase opened we jumped on Mission to Mars and Test Track while the babies listened to the street performers. Afterwards blinders were on and to the countries we went! Basically, with the 20 or so little booths with their own appetizers our objective was to eat through as many euphonious ones as possible. Obviously we care nothing for the spirits, but were extremely interested in buying trying other country's food! We ate from the Dominican Republic, Hawaii, Canada, France, Belgium, Germany, New Zealand. They were all so delish! By the time we made our way back around, we did a half circle again for the French ice cream. By this point my feet were about to fall off and I was sick with worry about my brother. We collectively decided to come back home. 

    It's so nice to have friends, you know?. Having people who really care about you is always a peaceful feeling- especially when they're also really witty and outgoing! I loooved our girls' trip and can't wait for the next one :)

New Zealand's Venison Marsala w/a sweet potato. 

DIETING

Jacksonville, FL :)

    I finally got my tentative schedule for our next cycle. If I said that I was excited about it, that would be a fierce understatement! I am seriously looking forward to it. I am eager for a new start. Originally my coordinator planned on doing the exact same protocol as before. The more I thought about that I just became so incredibly uneasy. I prayed about it constantly. Knowing that we have had 5 monitored natural cycles that haven't worked for whatever reason, I couldn't get that out of the back of my head. So I dug down into the sassy part of myself to push for a more evasive procedure. And I feel very grateful that they were understanding and agreed with me.

    Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd I will be having my first Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) in a few weeks. Yay!!! I've been been hoping for an IUI since we first came to my clinic. To gear up for this I am going to be using estrogen patches, having shots of Menopur & HCG and multiple ultrasounds to know if I am staying on track. Oh, plus my daily Aspirin and prenatal. And two blood draws. And, for now, birth control. And- just kidding- I'll stop being annoying. The point is, there are many things to be done.

    Since our other cycles weren't successful I've had a lot of time to really think about the why. Of course, some of it I truly believe is Heavenly Father's timing. But surely there's more- I can't just accept there isn't anything else to be done. What could I have done better? Where am I lacking at? Am I doing all that I can? And at the back of my mind I thought, duh, straighten up your diet.

     Anyone who is familiar with me knows that my eating habits are poor. The best way to describe it is: 1) very, very picky 2) craving sugar constantly 3) almost entirely against trying new foods 4) not a fan of many vegetables. It makes my life hard! But it's also very hard for me to overcome, I have a lot of anxiety around trying things out of my comfort zones. Combine that with the fact that I don't like having any food restrictions and you'll see why I realize that I must at least try to change it up. My most favorite foods are starchy, sweet and unhealthy. But I want to give this all I've got.

     Last night Graham and I decided that we would begin our "lifestyle changes" today. We spent a great deal of money shopping around for groceries. It's truly so much more expensive to purchase fresh fruits, vegetables and healthy conscientious goodies. But if it is one step closer to my baby and to a healthier Lacey I'll drop it like it's hot with a smile on my face. And we really did leave with a full trunk of delicious things.

    My personal gameplan is to try to eat more fresh produce, snack on healthier things and really focus on how I cook/eat meat. I know that I can't, and really don't want to, completely quit with sweets so I'm allotting one fun sized Snicker (or an equivalent) throughout my day. I want to drink half a gallon of water a day and cut down on my milk quantity. Graham and I are also writing everything down to post on our fridge, just some added accountability for each other. 

    I think this is achievable and will still let us eat things we enjoy. My main goal is to find a nice medium between wasting away as I nibble on carrot straws & gorging myself with pasta and chocolate. And I'll guarantee that there will be times when I slip up (like at my birthday weekend in 3 days) but I am determined to give it a go! I want to do all I can to be better, for a baby and myself. So yep, that's our newest adventure. I can't help thinking that our life never slows down!

2.5 in Marriage

    Me and this man hit 4 years of being together and 2.5 years of marriage in the past two weeks. I say it again and again but- time stops for no (wo)man. It's cruel and delightful all at once. I want to live in the past, present and future at the same time.
    I also got the opportunity to tell my life story (in 20 minutes, mind you) a few days ago as part of my calling in Young Women. As soon as I began discussing my sophomore year in college Graham was injected to the story, after all he's my most favorite part. As I told the story I began to find it terribly romantic to relive it all. I told how originally I did a hair flip and he kept trying to catch my eye. I talked about 18 months of driving back and forth every single weekend to see me. I mentioned the most darling proposal I could have imagined. I spoke of the most sacred and incredibly beautiful experience of our temple sealing. Of course, I didn't get to brush by the hard parts or the less desirable aspects... but  I told them that they were just more bearable.
    I couldn't help saying that this year has been the most stressful, scary, tough and challenging of my life. Death and infertility and depression and unforeseen circumstances all in a few months. But nothing was so bad that I haven't been able to rely on my testimony (though I've asked many, many questions and spent innumerable days in tears) and Graham for strength. I am not one who handles hard things with grace. I've snapped at people, been unforgiving and more aggravating than I like to admit.
    But I really admire my boy for allowing me to really deal with feelings that I didn't understand very well. For sticking up for me when needed. For putting me in my place when necessary. For trying very hard to understand me and my emotions more than ever before. It just reminds me that we're good together. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, amiright?
    I hope that I won't have another crazy year like this last one for a long time. Preferably never ;) And who knows- maybe next year will top this one with bizarre situations or unanswered questions. That's the beauty of the future, ever changing, unpredictable and filled with opportunity. I like to think that we can do anything, good or bad, as long as we're together.
    And for the record, yes I am a cheese ball and no I don't care.

Premature

     A week from yesterday I wrote up all about my brother's final day with us prior to his mission. In a twist of events he came home much quicker than we anticipated. He flew in to Jacksonville last night, 7 days after leaving. He was released as a full-time missionary this afternoon back home in Douglas. I decided I would be frank about the situation, which I imagine people would be curious about, and hopefully save him from having to repeat over and over.
    The days since his departure have been the most challenging of his life. As soon as he boarded his first plane he said that a dark cloud of loneliness came over him. Then he met up with other missionaries for the second flight and he felt better. He got his dork dot (a symbol that he was a fresh new missionary) and met up with his companion for the next 12 days. In typical missionary style, he got put to work right away.
    The first early morning they immediately started to work on skill-sets for the mission field, including how to teach, the proper ways to do so, etc. As soon as this real training began he started to panic. He wasn't able to focus, he quit eating and daily functioning became difficult for him. He attended classes and couldn't even reply when it was his turn to speak. His feelings of lonesomeness was his biggest downfall. So he was sent to and fro, with his companion going along to the doctor's and so forth.  This caused Acey's companion to fall behind in their rigorous schedule (which truly wasn't fair to him). There are so many missionaries there that they aren't able to give too much individualized attention to a single elder, it's more of a quick training course for masses. The MTC called 5 days after he arrived to speak with my parents and said that something had to give. Acey was completely miserable and broke down when he talked on the phone to Mama and Daddy, everything just intensified. They really wanted him to stay, but the coordinator who was on the phone said that in his 5 years of being a worker in the MTC he had not seen a worse case of severe separation anxiety. He just didn't think he was ready yet. Acey was given an extra 2 days to really decide his own fate, where he steadily declined. His own health was at risk because of the aforementioned problems and it just became a medical issue as the days progressed. It became clear that, for the moment, he would not continue his mission. The MTC agreed that he would have to come home to first work on his anxiety before he would get sent into the mission field. So he flew back.
    I write this because it's hard for him, our family, our ward. It's extremely important to me to level with everyone in the hopes that he will continue to receive support and love. So many people pitched in to help him before he left and my family is exceptionally grateful for that. The MTC said, "his heart is in the right place" and we know that was true. He is a good young man with courage to try something that was scary for him but, for now, he has some things he needs to work on. We, of course, only hope that his future will be filled with the best. It's completely possible that he will go out at a later time when he feels more able to cope with all of the emotions that come with it- at this point it's just too early to tell. But despite any challenge or trial or emotion our family loves him to pieces. And it'll stay that way.