The Month of Acey

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

    Okay guys, I really want to express my appreciation for everyone who reached out to me after my last post. Those who went through it, knew someone who had or feared that they themselves would approached me. I received numerous texts, emails and just had people come up to me to talk- I truly can not put into words how much that meant to me. I know how personal and difficult it can be to discuss, so I am honored to be able to have that shared with me. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life.


I had to steal this from Listi. Can you say RAGAMUFFINS? Btw- wearing slides and socks before it was cool. OK!

    On a completely different note! This past month has been a good one because there has been lots to do, and almost everyone of them has been based on my brother Acey. Yep, I know what you're thinking- you have a brother with the almost exact same name? Yes I do! And this boy is awesome.

He turned 18 on April 25th.

He received his Eagle Scout Award on April 28th.

He turned in his mission papers on May 7th.

He graduated from Seminary on May 17th.

He graduated from High School on May 23rd.

He is currently packing for his first cruise.


    Well, the last one is just what's going on right now, nothing to it, just as a reward for all of his hard work. So just look at those accomplishments! With the exception of the birthday, he has had to work extremely hard to qualify for these things and he deserves recognition. As a matter of fact, I am most proud of his desire for missionary service, his letter (which contains all of the information as to when and where he will go) is getting put in the mail TODAY. This young man is growing up so much faster than I thought possible. Congratulations Acey! Never forget how special you are to me. I am so proud to be your sister. I love you so dang much. Now please enjoy a photo dump and a video of our 3 boy's graduation at the tail end of this post.











Lacey and Graham: Our Struggle

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

    This time in my life has felt like the most difficult. And let me preface this by saying how hard it is to even voice this in the first place, only after lots of discussion and contemplation did we decide to. Lately on this blog I have posted phases like "I've been in a funk" or "there have been lots of lows." Plainly speaking, I have been going through a stage of depression. It is something I had never experienced before, so it's been very difficult to cope with.  I have been on the verge of sharing what has fueled that but I have not quite been able to put it into the words I want to use, so- without further adieu, here goes:

Graham and I have been going through infertility.

    Funnily enough, I told that to someone and they didn't even know what it meant. Go figure! So in the most simple terms possible: we want a baby, like yesterday. A simple quest that hurts a lot when it doesn't go according to plan. So we decided that we would make a video talking about evvvverything that has happened thus far. This trek has been so lonely but I don't want it to be anymore. It is so hard for us to share this, it's personal (trust me I know) but it makes it just a hint more bearable. There are so many others experiencing or who have experienced it too- I love to hear those stories. I am going to try to make more video updates on my YouTube Channel (and maybe Blog too, we will see) if anyone cares to follow along with our story. I have watched many videos and read more stories than I can express to help me keep perspective.

                        

     Sorry for the stutters and blurred footage, it wasn't 100% what I wanted. But, I can say that it was extremely therapeutic to get it all out. Please come to me if any clarification is needed! I am sure we made mistakes or were too evasive at times.
    We have confidence in the Lord and His plan for us; we aren't in dire straights just yet. We are not above asking for good vibes and prayers though, if you're that type of person. Please note, once again, how stressful it was to share but we did so in an effort to help ourselves heal, so I hope there won't be any negativity. We have seen nothing but an outpouring of love from the select few who know, thanks so much family and friends. Your love throughout this time means everything to us! 

RED OR PINK?

Thursday, May 14, 2015

    Recently I was invited to a little pool bash with some of my favorite Mormon mommies: I pulled up with a funky fish-tailed crown braid with swoops of hair and a fair full of makeup, winged liner included. I had spent the morning figuring out ways to make new hairstyles and how to make that dang liner. Later when chatting about my new updo and face with a friend, somehow or other we got to talking about our specific type of fashion and whatnot. As we carried on with the conversation I was surprised to hear her say, “I’m still developing my own style.”
     Anyone else like that? Because the moment it was said, I thought wait, that’s totally me. And I hadn’t even realized it. Analogy time: I may spot a shirt on a stranger and despise it. Suddenly I see a second one on another individual and I realize how it has actually grown on me. By the third shirt, I’m sneaking a picture of it to remind myself later to purchase one. Bandwagoner- maybe? Ditto with hairstyles and makeup styles.
    Makeup is a strange thing for me; I will usually try wear it, unless I’m short on time or happen to leave my bag at home since 97% of the time it is applied on the car ride over. But when I’m wearing it? Man, I feel like my confidence level changes from Butthead to Beyonce. WHO RUN THE WORLD- GIRLS. But anyway, I love to wear and apply it, but I'm always find myself keeping the same pattern. And that's partly because I keep a super easy routine: lotion on my face, liquid foundation, powder, mascara. My essentials. But always I wish there was more I knew how to do, a bang-up smoky eye for instance. I’m pretty clueless when it comes to all the extras. Hence, the mass YouTube following lately!
    So last night I did a little bit of a splurge on myself. I purchased a slew of new items I actually couldn't wait to use! So, yep, at 9 o’clock at night I whipped it all out to see how my goodies would work. By the way friends, I have been googling tutorials lately, because I know how big of a goober I look when first trying to figure out what works for me! So in the future, please feel free to ignore how ridiculous I may look.
    Now the biggest question is: Should I wear Pink or Red? lipstick I have always been a lip gloss kind of gal, but I’m getting to the age where I think I need to step it up. I bought “Ruby Red” and “Pink Petal” just to give it a go. When I gave it a test run, I really liked how the red made my face pop, but talk about a shock from the usual clear gloss! My first time ever wearing red. And I kind of think I look like a hussy? But I still got a kick out of it. The pink was very cutesy, but gave my face just enough jazz that I didn’t feel underwhelmed with all of the eye makeup.  I did feel like it wasn't a big change, which is kind of what I was hoping for. Overall I liked Red and Graham said Pink. 
Here are the pictures to gain a basis from. 
Should I go with RED or PINK?
 Eeeek. Please chime in.





Besides lipstick, here are some of the new products (old to everyone else, buttttt I never hit a trend when it’s cool) I used for my first night! I will keep ya’ll up to date, if anyone cares that is, about how they keep.

-NYC BB Cream 5-in-1 Instant Matte. I learned what BB cream was about 2 years ago. This little pouch can do a number of things for your face! I have been wanting to pick some up, so I figured I would start from the bottom of the price chain and build my way up, if necessary. I used it but, of course, no real news to report as of yet since it's more of a long term thing.

-Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse. I have always wanted to use the mousse, just to compare how it works from other products I have used! It went on super smooth when I gave it a test run, plus I totally got my actual color, which is always a win in my book.. It seems to apply much better than my usual liquid foundation, I’ll have to remember to check in later about how it holds.

-L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Miss Manga Mascara. Okay guys, mascara is my favorite product when it comes to makeup. I have tested out loads of them to find one I can’t live without. I have still not found that product. This one fulfills my need for nonclumpyiness, while adding a decent amount of length and volume. However the wand is annoyingly flexible, to the point that I feel like it will break at any moment's notice, but the packaging is so cute I might forgive it.

-I on Beauty Kabuki Blender. When it comes to makeup brushes I am not picky, not really; the one I have been using is actually from the Dollar Tree if that says anything about me. But I saw this thick, short stemmed brush hanging out in the clearance section of TJ MAXX and figured it would be a great asset to this newly assembled styling team. I love how thick the brush is, requiring just a few strokes. It’s actually environmentally friendly too, if you take the packaging's words.



    Okay guys well that’s the end of this makeup article that you care nothing about. If you’re still reading this then you’re a true friend. And don’t forget- pink or red?

Literally My Life Is...

L
A
T
E
L
Y


     There are somethings I straight up can't get enough of. Now I need the intro of "These Are A Few of My Favorite Things" to start playing, thanks.

MYLIFEASEVA.   Okay this one is incredibly embarrassing. So lately I have been utilizing YouTube to learn new ways to style my hair and fix my makeup. After finding several either obnoxious or boring channels I came across this youtuber named Eva (who pronounces it like Ava?). This gal is 20 years old and makes videos about makeup, DIY projects, thrifting, lots of things I adore. And as I began watching her I rolled my eyes and would skip to the parts I came for. The more I checked her out the more my opinion turned into a "wow she is super relatable and funny and I want to be her friend though I would suggest a slightly more plucked eyebrow." THEN I happened across the catchiest, most ridiculous tune that she "sung" if you can even call it that, yet regardless of the authenticity of the song Graham and I both have listened to it on repeat; I need an intervention.

                                           


LOST.   Apparently everyone and their brother has watched this series but me! While browsing on Netflix I noticed the man silhouetted against a blue background, racked my brain to remember what hair of the plot I knew- then I took the plunge. Now I am halfway into the first season amidst the dang love triangle between Doc, Tex and Kissing Kate. Why is this dang show so interesting? And will they ever get off the island? Not for the next several seasons apparently. And as a last note, I love the creepy music that plays at the end of every ending, emphasis added on the draaaaama.


EXPLORING MY CITY.   They can't all be related to electronics right? Of course not. Since Graham has been studying like crazy to prepare for his summer courses every evening, we have been going for a work immediately after we eat supper to clock in some togetherness. I have been a resident for over two years now and all the time I find new, adorable aspects of this place! It still feels strange to live in a city sometimes- guess that's what happens when you're raised in a small town.


CHOCOLATE DELIGHT.    This dessert. It's sweet with a crunch and cream cheese chunks. For my birthday I would ask for this over any other sweet as it's my all-time favorite. Anyway, last weekend our ward at church held a dessert auction to raise money to send the youth to camp. I entered the best pudding dish around and as the auctioneer went to describe it, my dear old friend Hannah hollered out, "it is SO good!" Suddenly fans went in the air as the bidding rose higher. Eventually it reached the $100's and two men began to attempt to outbid one another until it sold for $180! And wouldn't you know that it was most expensive one sold that evening ;) And I even made another one for an Alexander family dinner, which everyone forgot I put in the refrigerator (even me) and so I came home with a 9x13 pan with a full Choc Delight! Now it's nearly finished thanks to some perseverance from mine and Graham's part. Below is the grainiest picture ever with the prize winning dessert, featuring my pink apron and whipped cream on my nose- not sure how that happened.



ECHO.    It's official, I am watching that sweet niece of mine twice a week. I haven't been in the babysitting business for a minute so I'm getting back in the saddle. The beginning is always an awkward transition, while I am so intrigued by how different each baby/child is (such as what soothes them and what frustrates them) it's usually a challenge to get a rhythm going between the two of us. Lucky for me, sweet girl has been a breeze so far! I really hope she stays that way! 


    Well besides being completely busy for the next five weekends in a row, I feel like I am juggling a ton of other things through the weekdays. We have several vacations coming up but I feel more overwhelmed than anything! Graham and I always plan far too many things to do at once, in an effort to always keep ourselves busy. So, here's to the busywork until it's time for the good stuff.
    

May Update- Infertility

Sunday, May 10, 2015

    This time in my life has felt like the most difficult. And let me preface this by saying how hard it is to even voice this in the first place, only after lots of discussion and contemplation did we decide to. Lately on this blog I have posted phases like "I've been in a funk" or "there have been lots of lows." Plainly speaking, I have been going through a stage of depression. It is something I had never experienced before, so it's been very difficult to cope with.  I have been on the verge of sharing what has fueled that but I have not quite been able to put it into the words I want to use, so- without further adieu, here goes:

Graham and I have been going through infertility.

    Funnily enough, I told that to someone and they didn't even know what it meant. Go figure! So in the most simple terms possible: we want a baby, like yesterday. A simple quest that hurts a lot when it doesn't go according to plan. So we decided that we would make a video talking about evvvverything that has happened thus far. This trek has been so lonely but I don't want it to be anymore. It is so hard for us to share this, it's personal (trust me I know) but it makes it just a hint more bearable. There are so many others experiencing or who have experienced it too- I love to hear those stories. I am going to try to make more video updates on my YouTube Channel (and maybe Blog too, we will see) if anyone cares to follow along with our story. I have watched many videos and read more stories than I can express to help me keep perspective.

                        

     Sorry for the stutters and blurred footage, it wasn't 100% what I wanted. But, I can say that it was extremely therapeutic to get it all out. Please come to me if any clarification is needed! I am sure we made mistakes or were too evasive at times.
    We have confidence in the Lord and His plan for us; we aren't in dire straights just yet. We are not above asking for good vibes and prayers though, if you're that type of person. Please note, once again, how stressful it was to share but we did so in an effort to help ourselves heal, so I hope there won't be any negativity. We have seen nothing but an outpouring of love from the select few who know, thanks so much family and friends. Your love throughout this time means everything to us! 

Cinque Terre, Italy pt. I

Thursday, May 7, 2015


   As we left Milan Saturday morning at 11am, we couldn't help but sigh with relief.  The most stressful part of our trip was over, surely! After all, we had experienced a protest, walked several miles out of the way, gotten 3 hours of sleep, missed our train, a whole slew of craziness for our first day in a new country. Graham had already voiced that he was most excited about our next destination, Cinque Terre, which is roughly translated to “five villages.” Over the course of the weekend, we planned to run between Monterosso al Mare, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore, each famed for their colorful buildings jammed into a little coastal area.
    While we were on the train, we got a little anxious when we realized we were going to have a 7 minute overlap to trade trains in a place called Geneva. We began to awkwardly communicate with a fellow trainmate, who was able to help us figure out where to go. We were exceptionally grateful that he would be able to tell us where to get off, so we decided to relax and enjoy the beautiful Italian scenery. To think, we actually were in Italy! As the time dwindled down, we were told where to get off, we ran to the right train stop, after taking a minute to figure out where we should be. This means a lot when there is only 7 minutes in the first place!
    So on we jumped, when we got on, we realized that we were going to arrive much later than we had originally told the person we were staying with. I tried to send a text to inform him, but it never went through. (I did realize how my printed out train ticket, the one that we missed, did not say our midway train change, so I wondered if it ended up being for the best that we missed our train, because without the train change knowledge we would have gotten off at a wrong destination anyway. Meanwhile our new tickets visibly told us where and when to specifically get off: I still don't know if this is true.) By this point we just shrugged our shoulders and gazed out at the coast. Another youthful sprite began to chit chat with passable English. It was here that we finally felt that we explored what Italy was like for a citizen. He expressed his love for his country, his culture, the scenery, but said that the government and lack of jobs really was putting the country through the mill. From this moment on we paid close attention to how Italy presented itself to a tourist versus their reality.
    Finally we managed to get to La Spezia, the main train hub for CT. As we approached the train attendant for a 2 day pass throughout all of the villages, I’d done my research and felt confident in asking. “Sorry, but tomorrow is a train strike- the trains probably won’t be working until 9 Sunday evening.”
    Hold on, let me get this right. We had a 2 day trip planned for Cinque Terre, one of the most scenic places in all of the country. Our first day was cut in half (we arrived at 4, the evening sets at 5:30) due to missing the train and now we find out that the train system, the only way to train between the villages wouldn’t even be working. WHY, oh please, WHY must everything ruin my carefully- laid plans! As we ran our fingers through our hair, huffed and puffed angrily we wondered yet again what in the world caused us to come on that specific tumultuous week. Eventually we were told that the trains, might end up working for a time, but she just couldn’t be sure. We decided to just wing it and bought a one-way ticket to Vernazza.
    As we approached the city, I was squealing with delight! Dubbed the most beautiful village, we had booked a tiny cottage, the only place in town, with spectacular views. We walked down the sloped street and everything was so incredibly cute. Each building was at least six stories tall, they were colored in pastels, while the remainder of Italy was only shades of beige.
    Due to the Christmas season, as we walked along the strip there overhead were shooting star lights, just beginning to flicker on. We were anxiously ready to arrive at our place to drop off our luggage and visit everything before it closed down. So with the handwritten directions from the owner of the cottage we began to search.
    As we found our “street” it was turned out to actually be a small alleyway on the left side of the tall buildings towards a cliff. We walked up the steps as it curved steadily upward, luckily we were already warned that there were several hundred steps so we knew in advance. We trudged on and pasted multiple apartments, meanwhile walked up the incline to the left. After a few hundred steps we reached the address I had printed out! We were so glad because it wasn’t too hard to find or too far up. My feet were also aching from walking upwards so much carrying wo bags and with shoes half a size too small We knocked on the door but no one answered. It was here that I realized this was quickly becoming a problem; we had told the owner we would be there at 9am and it was 4:30pm. More worrisome was that we would be completely lost when the sun set in an hour’s time. So I began to try in vain to call him, suddenly Graham found a pair of keys in the mailbox! Hallelujah. He jingled them in and out—nothing. So we began to worry just a little, as we walked up the staircase to the next apartment just to see if that was our stop.
    Okay so picture this, 2 ignorant tourists lost in the country in Italy where we can’t find our place to stay, not even locals who speak English, there aren’t any other hotels in the area, the train is soon to stop working for 24 hours and the sun is setting. I prayed hard, guys.
    So as I sat with 4 pieces of luggage as Graham kept walking to see if we could find our actual place. It is here that I am going to have difficulty explaining, you really need to physically be there to understand what I mean, so bear with me. Well as he looked, the stairs forked. Graham walked a piece up one side, came back down, wondered aloud if that could be he right place, and again we prayed. A great deal of time had passed, 30 minutes of so since getting there, the sun was dropping steadily.
    Finally, after calling several times we received got in touch with the owner, who was kind of perturbed about the time, who told us that we were not even at the right place, plus he was on vacation in another country. (Of course, our luck could not be much worse at this point.) I was frustrated because that was the physical listed address he had given us. He told us that we needed to go up many more steps to find the right place and then the phone was disconnected
    We decided to go up the side Graham had partially went up together in hopes of it being the right place. To explain these directions the steps went is very difficult. They went up to the left, did a 180 in the other direction, looped around a tower, had two flights going directly up and past the tower. The view was completely blocked from this point from below. All of a sudden we saw two young sprites walking out from a nearby hiking trail, I prayed for English speakers and called out, “Excuse me! Do you know where Andrea’s apartment is, can you please help us?”
    The long haired one piped up. “Oh you’re the ones staying! I was supposed to help carry your luggage up for you, but you never came. You are almost there. Andrea’s apartment is up all of these stairs, when you pass a gate on the right that’s your place. Do you see the lamp? Put in your key for the gate. But I must run now, my train is coming. Sorry!” To which I nearly sobbed, “no, thank you so much!” And our own little miracle man ran down the hundreds of stairs to the train.
    As we walked I noticed a restaurant, La Torre (The Tower), which was also owned by Andrea, and recalled reading online that we had to past that to get there. We perkily went up the remainder of the stairs, pasted a shire to the Virgin Mary (Catholics, but duh, we’re in Italy), and as we rounded a corner we did see a locked gate! Finally, we let out the breath we had been holding for about 45 minutes as the sun was hovering lower to the earth. Graham pulled out the keys we found at the first apartment we went to and mumbled how misleading finding those keys were when we originally found them. We finally managed to get in the gate, walked up one more flight of steps (meanwhile welts on my shoulder and blisters on my feet) and we saw our little teeny, adorable cottage. Probably measuring in at 12x12, it was basically just a queen size bed with a small bathroom. It couldn't have felt nicer than a stay at the Ritz Carlton at that moment. I was also surprised that the nearest neighbor to us was halfway down the cliff we had to climb, it was completely secluded.


    We dumped our luggage and walked back to the terrace. WOW is all that I can say about the view- just WOW. The little colorful peninsula jutting out into the sapphire lapping water is something I hope to never forget.
    We eased ourselves back down the stairs to do a bit of exploring as the sun set. The Christmas lights were in full effect, as we finally were able to relax into the little romantic town. We walked past warbling karaoke singers at a bar to visit the only open restaurant overlooking the wharf. We sat down and decided after a really rough day we were going to splurge on ourselves! We both ordered Fanta’s (8oz, yes 8, canned Fanta’s were 3 Euro’s a piece. We did not realize they would be canned without the chance to replace them for free.) Since Cinque Terre was known for being to location to create the infamous green sauce- Graham ordered a Pesto flavored pasta, while the remainder of the menu was seafood (not my forte) so I opted for the veal. We spent more on this one supper than we did on any entire day from the remainder of the trip! And I wish someone could have seen Graham’s face when his plate arrived with pasta rolled out like little maggots. Hilarious!
    Afterwards we walked by the wharf, went up the main strip of town (which was maybe like 800 feet) and got information on possible trains for tomorrow, just to try our luck. Eventually we walked back up the hundreds of steps but as we left behind the last home (midway up) there were no more street lamps, this was a problem because several of the steps had chunks missing or would lop off for no reason, and even my phone had died at this point so we couldn't use the built- in flashlight. Finally we ended up using my camera, I would hold the picture as if to take a picture, we would use the red light that appeared for the use of the flash for guidance, over and over again. This plan worked until it came time to put in the key in the gate as the camera had died and we both fumbled trying to find the lock and insert our key. Whenever we did manage to do it, we sat out on the terrace and looked at that beautiful little town and I wished, despite everything, we didn't ever have to leave it.

Our sweet little cottage and the guiding lamp that led us there! 

All of the stairs were tightly spaced between apartment buildings.
Vernazza's strip!

After the hundreds of steps, we took a break on someone's patio.

Overlooking the city you and your lover can place a lock on this railing :)

Graham's pesto.

Veal for me!

Vernazza! If you look closely in the mountains you can see Monterosso too.

Obsessed

Tuesday, May 5, 2015


    Mariah Carey's song "Obsessed" dictates it is a horrible, foul thing to allow one person to consume your mind. Even Webster's defines the word as "to preoccupy the mind of someone continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent." Still negative. So I wonder- can we be completely and utterly fascinated with an individual and it not be a bad thing? Or is it the fact that we spend so much time dwelling automatically awful? Is it imposible for it to be a positive?
     I sure hope it isn't, because seriously, like Bella Swan said from Twilight, I [am] unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. And thereby obsessed. 


I can't help but love him.

In 10 days he's starting Grad School!
He is the only one working in our family right now. 
For the past year he has been our ward's Elders' Quorum President -believe me,  that entails a lot.
He just has so much on his plate right now. I see how stressed out he gets at times, but he handles it so incredibly well, much more than I would be able to.

    In addition to the busy work he does all day long: he supports me, uplifts me, lets me cry on him, pushes me to succeed and gives me things I need. Lately, I have felt the weight of highs and lows, sorrow and joy and a billion feelings at once. I simply can't express my gratitude of having someone important to me to voice it all to, to have someone I adore be able to calm my fears and to have someone I love more than life say special prayers with me.

    It makes my heart swell to talk about how freaking great of a person he is! I recently had an interview, at one point it was said, "Your husband is lucky to have you." And I had to make a rebuttal and say, "No, I am lucky to have him!"

And I am. I love you Graham. Thanks for everything you do for me!

The Month of Acey

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

    Okay guys, I really want to express my appreciation for everyone who reached out to me after my last post. Those who went through it, knew someone who had or feared that they themselves would approached me. I received numerous texts, emails and just had people come up to me to talk- I truly can not put into words how much that meant to me. I know how personal and difficult it can be to discuss, so I am honored to be able to have that shared with me. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life.


I had to steal this from Listi. Can you say RAGAMUFFINS? Btw- wearing slides and socks before it was cool. OK!

    On a completely different note! This past month has been a good one because there has been lots to do, and almost everyone of them has been based on my brother Acey. Yep, I know what you're thinking- you have a brother with the almost exact same name? Yes I do! And this boy is awesome.

He turned 18 on April 25th.

He received his Eagle Scout Award on April 28th.

He turned in his mission papers on May 7th.

He graduated from Seminary on May 17th.

He graduated from High School on May 23rd.

He is currently packing for his first cruise.


    Well, the last one is just what's going on right now, nothing to it, just as a reward for all of his hard work. So just look at those accomplishments! With the exception of the birthday, he has had to work extremely hard to qualify for these things and he deserves recognition. As a matter of fact, I am most proud of his desire for missionary service, his letter (which contains all of the information as to when and where he will go) is getting put in the mail TODAY. This young man is growing up so much faster than I thought possible. Congratulations Acey! Never forget how special you are to me. I am so proud to be your sister. I love you so dang much. Now please enjoy a photo dump and a video of our 3 boy's graduation at the tail end of this post.











Lacey and Graham: Our Struggle

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

    This time in my life has felt like the most difficult. And let me preface this by saying how hard it is to even voice this in the first place, only after lots of discussion and contemplation did we decide to. Lately on this blog I have posted phases like "I've been in a funk" or "there have been lots of lows." Plainly speaking, I have been going through a stage of depression. It is something I had never experienced before, so it's been very difficult to cope with.  I have been on the verge of sharing what has fueled that but I have not quite been able to put it into the words I want to use, so- without further adieu, here goes:

Graham and I have been going through infertility.

    Funnily enough, I told that to someone and they didn't even know what it meant. Go figure! So in the most simple terms possible: we want a baby, like yesterday. A simple quest that hurts a lot when it doesn't go according to plan. So we decided that we would make a video talking about evvvverything that has happened thus far. This trek has been so lonely but I don't want it to be anymore. It is so hard for us to share this, it's personal (trust me I know) but it makes it just a hint more bearable. There are so many others experiencing or who have experienced it too- I love to hear those stories. I am going to try to make more video updates on my YouTube Channel (and maybe Blog too, we will see) if anyone cares to follow along with our story. I have watched many videos and read more stories than I can express to help me keep perspective.

                        

     Sorry for the stutters and blurred footage, it wasn't 100% what I wanted. But, I can say that it was extremely therapeutic to get it all out. Please come to me if any clarification is needed! I am sure we made mistakes or were too evasive at times.
    We have confidence in the Lord and His plan for us; we aren't in dire straights just yet. We are not above asking for good vibes and prayers though, if you're that type of person. Please note, once again, how stressful it was to share but we did so in an effort to help ourselves heal, so I hope there won't be any negativity. We have seen nothing but an outpouring of love from the select few who know, thanks so much family and friends. Your love throughout this time means everything to us! 

RED OR PINK?

Thursday, May 14, 2015

    Recently I was invited to a little pool bash with some of my favorite Mormon mommies: I pulled up with a funky fish-tailed crown braid with swoops of hair and a fair full of makeup, winged liner included. I had spent the morning figuring out ways to make new hairstyles and how to make that dang liner. Later when chatting about my new updo and face with a friend, somehow or other we got to talking about our specific type of fashion and whatnot. As we carried on with the conversation I was surprised to hear her say, “I’m still developing my own style.”
     Anyone else like that? Because the moment it was said, I thought wait, that’s totally me. And I hadn’t even realized it. Analogy time: I may spot a shirt on a stranger and despise it. Suddenly I see a second one on another individual and I realize how it has actually grown on me. By the third shirt, I’m sneaking a picture of it to remind myself later to purchase one. Bandwagoner- maybe? Ditto with hairstyles and makeup styles.
    Makeup is a strange thing for me; I will usually try wear it, unless I’m short on time or happen to leave my bag at home since 97% of the time it is applied on the car ride over. But when I’m wearing it? Man, I feel like my confidence level changes from Butthead to Beyonce. WHO RUN THE WORLD- GIRLS. But anyway, I love to wear and apply it, but I'm always find myself keeping the same pattern. And that's partly because I keep a super easy routine: lotion on my face, liquid foundation, powder, mascara. My essentials. But always I wish there was more I knew how to do, a bang-up smoky eye for instance. I’m pretty clueless when it comes to all the extras. Hence, the mass YouTube following lately!
    So last night I did a little bit of a splurge on myself. I purchased a slew of new items I actually couldn't wait to use! So, yep, at 9 o’clock at night I whipped it all out to see how my goodies would work. By the way friends, I have been googling tutorials lately, because I know how big of a goober I look when first trying to figure out what works for me! So in the future, please feel free to ignore how ridiculous I may look.
    Now the biggest question is: Should I wear Pink or Red? lipstick I have always been a lip gloss kind of gal, but I’m getting to the age where I think I need to step it up. I bought “Ruby Red” and “Pink Petal” just to give it a go. When I gave it a test run, I really liked how the red made my face pop, but talk about a shock from the usual clear gloss! My first time ever wearing red. And I kind of think I look like a hussy? But I still got a kick out of it. The pink was very cutesy, but gave my face just enough jazz that I didn’t feel underwhelmed with all of the eye makeup.  I did feel like it wasn't a big change, which is kind of what I was hoping for. Overall I liked Red and Graham said Pink. 
Here are the pictures to gain a basis from. 
Should I go with RED or PINK?
 Eeeek. Please chime in.





Besides lipstick, here are some of the new products (old to everyone else, buttttt I never hit a trend when it’s cool) I used for my first night! I will keep ya’ll up to date, if anyone cares that is, about how they keep.

-NYC BB Cream 5-in-1 Instant Matte. I learned what BB cream was about 2 years ago. This little pouch can do a number of things for your face! I have been wanting to pick some up, so I figured I would start from the bottom of the price chain and build my way up, if necessary. I used it but, of course, no real news to report as of yet since it's more of a long term thing.

-Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse. I have always wanted to use the mousse, just to compare how it works from other products I have used! It went on super smooth when I gave it a test run, plus I totally got my actual color, which is always a win in my book.. It seems to apply much better than my usual liquid foundation, I’ll have to remember to check in later about how it holds.

-L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Miss Manga Mascara. Okay guys, mascara is my favorite product when it comes to makeup. I have tested out loads of them to find one I can’t live without. I have still not found that product. This one fulfills my need for nonclumpyiness, while adding a decent amount of length and volume. However the wand is annoyingly flexible, to the point that I feel like it will break at any moment's notice, but the packaging is so cute I might forgive it.

-I on Beauty Kabuki Blender. When it comes to makeup brushes I am not picky, not really; the one I have been using is actually from the Dollar Tree if that says anything about me. But I saw this thick, short stemmed brush hanging out in the clearance section of TJ MAXX and figured it would be a great asset to this newly assembled styling team. I love how thick the brush is, requiring just a few strokes. It’s actually environmentally friendly too, if you take the packaging's words.



    Okay guys well that’s the end of this makeup article that you care nothing about. If you’re still reading this then you’re a true friend. And don’t forget- pink or red?

Literally My Life Is...

L
A
T
E
L
Y


     There are somethings I straight up can't get enough of. Now I need the intro of "These Are A Few of My Favorite Things" to start playing, thanks.

MYLIFEASEVA.   Okay this one is incredibly embarrassing. So lately I have been utilizing YouTube to learn new ways to style my hair and fix my makeup. After finding several either obnoxious or boring channels I came across this youtuber named Eva (who pronounces it like Ava?). This gal is 20 years old and makes videos about makeup, DIY projects, thrifting, lots of things I adore. And as I began watching her I rolled my eyes and would skip to the parts I came for. The more I checked her out the more my opinion turned into a "wow she is super relatable and funny and I want to be her friend though I would suggest a slightly more plucked eyebrow." THEN I happened across the catchiest, most ridiculous tune that she "sung" if you can even call it that, yet regardless of the authenticity of the song Graham and I both have listened to it on repeat; I need an intervention.

                                           


LOST.   Apparently everyone and their brother has watched this series but me! While browsing on Netflix I noticed the man silhouetted against a blue background, racked my brain to remember what hair of the plot I knew- then I took the plunge. Now I am halfway into the first season amidst the dang love triangle between Doc, Tex and Kissing Kate. Why is this dang show so interesting? And will they ever get off the island? Not for the next several seasons apparently. And as a last note, I love the creepy music that plays at the end of every ending, emphasis added on the draaaaama.


EXPLORING MY CITY.   They can't all be related to electronics right? Of course not. Since Graham has been studying like crazy to prepare for his summer courses every evening, we have been going for a work immediately after we eat supper to clock in some togetherness. I have been a resident for over two years now and all the time I find new, adorable aspects of this place! It still feels strange to live in a city sometimes- guess that's what happens when you're raised in a small town.


CHOCOLATE DELIGHT.    This dessert. It's sweet with a crunch and cream cheese chunks. For my birthday I would ask for this over any other sweet as it's my all-time favorite. Anyway, last weekend our ward at church held a dessert auction to raise money to send the youth to camp. I entered the best pudding dish around and as the auctioneer went to describe it, my dear old friend Hannah hollered out, "it is SO good!" Suddenly fans went in the air as the bidding rose higher. Eventually it reached the $100's and two men began to attempt to outbid one another until it sold for $180! And wouldn't you know that it was most expensive one sold that evening ;) And I even made another one for an Alexander family dinner, which everyone forgot I put in the refrigerator (even me) and so I came home with a 9x13 pan with a full Choc Delight! Now it's nearly finished thanks to some perseverance from mine and Graham's part. Below is the grainiest picture ever with the prize winning dessert, featuring my pink apron and whipped cream on my nose- not sure how that happened.



ECHO.    It's official, I am watching that sweet niece of mine twice a week. I haven't been in the babysitting business for a minute so I'm getting back in the saddle. The beginning is always an awkward transition, while I am so intrigued by how different each baby/child is (such as what soothes them and what frustrates them) it's usually a challenge to get a rhythm going between the two of us. Lucky for me, sweet girl has been a breeze so far! I really hope she stays that way! 


    Well besides being completely busy for the next five weekends in a row, I feel like I am juggling a ton of other things through the weekdays. We have several vacations coming up but I feel more overwhelmed than anything! Graham and I always plan far too many things to do at once, in an effort to always keep ourselves busy. So, here's to the busywork until it's time for the good stuff.
    

May Update- Infertility

Sunday, May 10, 2015

    This time in my life has felt like the most difficult. And let me preface this by saying how hard it is to even voice this in the first place, only after lots of discussion and contemplation did we decide to. Lately on this blog I have posted phases like "I've been in a funk" or "there have been lots of lows." Plainly speaking, I have been going through a stage of depression. It is something I had never experienced before, so it's been very difficult to cope with.  I have been on the verge of sharing what has fueled that but I have not quite been able to put it into the words I want to use, so- without further adieu, here goes:

Graham and I have been going through infertility.

    Funnily enough, I told that to someone and they didn't even know what it meant. Go figure! So in the most simple terms possible: we want a baby, like yesterday. A simple quest that hurts a lot when it doesn't go according to plan. So we decided that we would make a video talking about evvvverything that has happened thus far. This trek has been so lonely but I don't want it to be anymore. It is so hard for us to share this, it's personal (trust me I know) but it makes it just a hint more bearable. There are so many others experiencing or who have experienced it too- I love to hear those stories. I am going to try to make more video updates on my YouTube Channel (and maybe Blog too, we will see) if anyone cares to follow along with our story. I have watched many videos and read more stories than I can express to help me keep perspective.

                        

     Sorry for the stutters and blurred footage, it wasn't 100% what I wanted. But, I can say that it was extremely therapeutic to get it all out. Please come to me if any clarification is needed! I am sure we made mistakes or were too evasive at times.
    We have confidence in the Lord and His plan for us; we aren't in dire straights just yet. We are not above asking for good vibes and prayers though, if you're that type of person. Please note, once again, how stressful it was to share but we did so in an effort to help ourselves heal, so I hope there won't be any negativity. We have seen nothing but an outpouring of love from the select few who know, thanks so much family and friends. Your love throughout this time means everything to us! 

Cinque Terre, Italy pt. I

Thursday, May 7, 2015


   As we left Milan Saturday morning at 11am, we couldn't help but sigh with relief.  The most stressful part of our trip was over, surely! After all, we had experienced a protest, walked several miles out of the way, gotten 3 hours of sleep, missed our train, a whole slew of craziness for our first day in a new country. Graham had already voiced that he was most excited about our next destination, Cinque Terre, which is roughly translated to “five villages.” Over the course of the weekend, we planned to run between Monterosso al Mare, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore, each famed for their colorful buildings jammed into a little coastal area.
    While we were on the train, we got a little anxious when we realized we were going to have a 7 minute overlap to trade trains in a place called Geneva. We began to awkwardly communicate with a fellow trainmate, who was able to help us figure out where to go. We were exceptionally grateful that he would be able to tell us where to get off, so we decided to relax and enjoy the beautiful Italian scenery. To think, we actually were in Italy! As the time dwindled down, we were told where to get off, we ran to the right train stop, after taking a minute to figure out where we should be. This means a lot when there is only 7 minutes in the first place!
    So on we jumped, when we got on, we realized that we were going to arrive much later than we had originally told the person we were staying with. I tried to send a text to inform him, but it never went through. (I did realize how my printed out train ticket, the one that we missed, did not say our midway train change, so I wondered if it ended up being for the best that we missed our train, because without the train change knowledge we would have gotten off at a wrong destination anyway. Meanwhile our new tickets visibly told us where and when to specifically get off: I still don't know if this is true.) By this point we just shrugged our shoulders and gazed out at the coast. Another youthful sprite began to chit chat with passable English. It was here that we finally felt that we explored what Italy was like for a citizen. He expressed his love for his country, his culture, the scenery, but said that the government and lack of jobs really was putting the country through the mill. From this moment on we paid close attention to how Italy presented itself to a tourist versus their reality.
    Finally we managed to get to La Spezia, the main train hub for CT. As we approached the train attendant for a 2 day pass throughout all of the villages, I’d done my research and felt confident in asking. “Sorry, but tomorrow is a train strike- the trains probably won’t be working until 9 Sunday evening.”
    Hold on, let me get this right. We had a 2 day trip planned for Cinque Terre, one of the most scenic places in all of the country. Our first day was cut in half (we arrived at 4, the evening sets at 5:30) due to missing the train and now we find out that the train system, the only way to train between the villages wouldn’t even be working. WHY, oh please, WHY must everything ruin my carefully- laid plans! As we ran our fingers through our hair, huffed and puffed angrily we wondered yet again what in the world caused us to come on that specific tumultuous week. Eventually we were told that the trains, might end up working for a time, but she just couldn’t be sure. We decided to just wing it and bought a one-way ticket to Vernazza.
    As we approached the city, I was squealing with delight! Dubbed the most beautiful village, we had booked a tiny cottage, the only place in town, with spectacular views. We walked down the sloped street and everything was so incredibly cute. Each building was at least six stories tall, they were colored in pastels, while the remainder of Italy was only shades of beige.
    Due to the Christmas season, as we walked along the strip there overhead were shooting star lights, just beginning to flicker on. We were anxiously ready to arrive at our place to drop off our luggage and visit everything before it closed down. So with the handwritten directions from the owner of the cottage we began to search.
    As we found our “street” it was turned out to actually be a small alleyway on the left side of the tall buildings towards a cliff. We walked up the steps as it curved steadily upward, luckily we were already warned that there were several hundred steps so we knew in advance. We trudged on and pasted multiple apartments, meanwhile walked up the incline to the left. After a few hundred steps we reached the address I had printed out! We were so glad because it wasn’t too hard to find or too far up. My feet were also aching from walking upwards so much carrying wo bags and with shoes half a size too small We knocked on the door but no one answered. It was here that I realized this was quickly becoming a problem; we had told the owner we would be there at 9am and it was 4:30pm. More worrisome was that we would be completely lost when the sun set in an hour’s time. So I began to try in vain to call him, suddenly Graham found a pair of keys in the mailbox! Hallelujah. He jingled them in and out—nothing. So we began to worry just a little, as we walked up the staircase to the next apartment just to see if that was our stop.
    Okay so picture this, 2 ignorant tourists lost in the country in Italy where we can’t find our place to stay, not even locals who speak English, there aren’t any other hotels in the area, the train is soon to stop working for 24 hours and the sun is setting. I prayed hard, guys.
    So as I sat with 4 pieces of luggage as Graham kept walking to see if we could find our actual place. It is here that I am going to have difficulty explaining, you really need to physically be there to understand what I mean, so bear with me. Well as he looked, the stairs forked. Graham walked a piece up one side, came back down, wondered aloud if that could be he right place, and again we prayed. A great deal of time had passed, 30 minutes of so since getting there, the sun was dropping steadily.
    Finally, after calling several times we received got in touch with the owner, who was kind of perturbed about the time, who told us that we were not even at the right place, plus he was on vacation in another country. (Of course, our luck could not be much worse at this point.) I was frustrated because that was the physical listed address he had given us. He told us that we needed to go up many more steps to find the right place and then the phone was disconnected
    We decided to go up the side Graham had partially went up together in hopes of it being the right place. To explain these directions the steps went is very difficult. They went up to the left, did a 180 in the other direction, looped around a tower, had two flights going directly up and past the tower. The view was completely blocked from this point from below. All of a sudden we saw two young sprites walking out from a nearby hiking trail, I prayed for English speakers and called out, “Excuse me! Do you know where Andrea’s apartment is, can you please help us?”
    The long haired one piped up. “Oh you’re the ones staying! I was supposed to help carry your luggage up for you, but you never came. You are almost there. Andrea’s apartment is up all of these stairs, when you pass a gate on the right that’s your place. Do you see the lamp? Put in your key for the gate. But I must run now, my train is coming. Sorry!” To which I nearly sobbed, “no, thank you so much!” And our own little miracle man ran down the hundreds of stairs to the train.
    As we walked I noticed a restaurant, La Torre (The Tower), which was also owned by Andrea, and recalled reading online that we had to past that to get there. We perkily went up the remainder of the stairs, pasted a shire to the Virgin Mary (Catholics, but duh, we’re in Italy), and as we rounded a corner we did see a locked gate! Finally, we let out the breath we had been holding for about 45 minutes as the sun was hovering lower to the earth. Graham pulled out the keys we found at the first apartment we went to and mumbled how misleading finding those keys were when we originally found them. We finally managed to get in the gate, walked up one more flight of steps (meanwhile welts on my shoulder and blisters on my feet) and we saw our little teeny, adorable cottage. Probably measuring in at 12x12, it was basically just a queen size bed with a small bathroom. It couldn't have felt nicer than a stay at the Ritz Carlton at that moment. I was also surprised that the nearest neighbor to us was halfway down the cliff we had to climb, it was completely secluded.


    We dumped our luggage and walked back to the terrace. WOW is all that I can say about the view- just WOW. The little colorful peninsula jutting out into the sapphire lapping water is something I hope to never forget.
    We eased ourselves back down the stairs to do a bit of exploring as the sun set. The Christmas lights were in full effect, as we finally were able to relax into the little romantic town. We walked past warbling karaoke singers at a bar to visit the only open restaurant overlooking the wharf. We sat down and decided after a really rough day we were going to splurge on ourselves! We both ordered Fanta’s (8oz, yes 8, canned Fanta’s were 3 Euro’s a piece. We did not realize they would be canned without the chance to replace them for free.) Since Cinque Terre was known for being to location to create the infamous green sauce- Graham ordered a Pesto flavored pasta, while the remainder of the menu was seafood (not my forte) so I opted for the veal. We spent more on this one supper than we did on any entire day from the remainder of the trip! And I wish someone could have seen Graham’s face when his plate arrived with pasta rolled out like little maggots. Hilarious!
    Afterwards we walked by the wharf, went up the main strip of town (which was maybe like 800 feet) and got information on possible trains for tomorrow, just to try our luck. Eventually we walked back up the hundreds of steps but as we left behind the last home (midway up) there were no more street lamps, this was a problem because several of the steps had chunks missing or would lop off for no reason, and even my phone had died at this point so we couldn't use the built- in flashlight. Finally we ended up using my camera, I would hold the picture as if to take a picture, we would use the red light that appeared for the use of the flash for guidance, over and over again. This plan worked until it came time to put in the key in the gate as the camera had died and we both fumbled trying to find the lock and insert our key. Whenever we did manage to do it, we sat out on the terrace and looked at that beautiful little town and I wished, despite everything, we didn't ever have to leave it.

Our sweet little cottage and the guiding lamp that led us there! 

All of the stairs were tightly spaced between apartment buildings.
Vernazza's strip!

After the hundreds of steps, we took a break on someone's patio.

Overlooking the city you and your lover can place a lock on this railing :)

Graham's pesto.

Veal for me!

Vernazza! If you look closely in the mountains you can see Monterosso too.

Obsessed

Tuesday, May 5, 2015


    Mariah Carey's song "Obsessed" dictates it is a horrible, foul thing to allow one person to consume your mind. Even Webster's defines the word as "to preoccupy the mind of someone continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent." Still negative. So I wonder- can we be completely and utterly fascinated with an individual and it not be a bad thing? Or is it the fact that we spend so much time dwelling automatically awful? Is it imposible for it to be a positive?
     I sure hope it isn't, because seriously, like Bella Swan said from Twilight, I [am] unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. And thereby obsessed. 


I can't help but love him.

In 10 days he's starting Grad School!
He is the only one working in our family right now. 
For the past year he has been our ward's Elders' Quorum President -believe me,  that entails a lot.
He just has so much on his plate right now. I see how stressed out he gets at times, but he handles it so incredibly well, much more than I would be able to.

    In addition to the busy work he does all day long: he supports me, uplifts me, lets me cry on him, pushes me to succeed and gives me things I need. Lately, I have felt the weight of highs and lows, sorrow and joy and a billion feelings at once. I simply can't express my gratitude of having someone important to me to voice it all to, to have someone I adore be able to calm my fears and to have someone I love more than life say special prayers with me.

    It makes my heart swell to talk about how freaking great of a person he is! I recently had an interview, at one point it was said, "Your husband is lucky to have you." And I had to make a rebuttal and say, "No, I am lucky to have him!"

And I am. I love you Graham. Thanks for everything you do for me!