I feel that this
is a safe topic to approach since Graham never gets on Facebook, or especially
my blog! ;) Before we were married, I was able to hear many, many people share
on what they personally thought about marriage, young marriage, the newlywed
stage, the divorce rate, why people chose divorce, how kids would mix in,
moving to a new area- everyone has an
opinion on everything! Which, for the most part, was fine. I enjoyed hearing
what others think, unless of course they planned to berate me with reasons why
I wouldn’t be able to succeed in life due to it, in which case I promptly shut
the conversation off. But most were
courteous enough to be kind, and many offered genuine, helpful advice. I am
growing as a wife, I think so at least. It is hard when suddenly there is
another person who you must totally commit to, share every detail with and
begin trying to mesh two single people into one married couple.
I have a little
advice, if anyone cares to take it from a newlywed herself :)
Remember, you
picked them! All the time I get, “is it fun?” And my truthful answer (at least
this far in) is: yes the married life can be so fun, but boy do you have to
love the other person a lot! Luckily, I do love my husband that much. But daily
trials always seem to seep their way in, biting and gnawing. For us, keeping a
goal in mind has been a good idea. (“We are eternally bonded to each other
regardless of whatever is going on so get
over it!”)
Develop qualities.We offer strengths
and weaknesses, where one is failing the other must lift them up. Personally, I
am bossy; I think that I always have been that way. It has really been so hard
for me not to try my hardest to maneuver my way into getting exactly what I
want, seriously it is so difficult! Graham is pretty good at standing his
ground, but often kind enough to follow my (sometimes frivolous) plans. Graham
is not the best at showing his feelings, one of my strongsuits, so he has been developing
that. It is amazing how much we are able to help each other grow and, while
staying the same person we each fell in love with, be able to become more
perfected for the other.Be kind. Last Sunday Graham said that one of his fellow priesthood leaders said his goal was to do 10 nice things for his wife each day. I was fascinated by that; what an excellent idea! I have tried to adapt that into this week. Each day as I picked up Graham I tried to have a little gift or surprise prepared. Monday was a slice of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, Tuesday was two of his favorite energy drinks (MONSTER; he is obsessed ya’ll, truly in a comatose state without them), Wednesday I had cooked supper and brought it as a picnic as we drove to the beach and lastly today, Thursday, he had a M&M yogurt with some new socks he had been needing ;) So they haven’t been anything marvelous or grand, but it makes me so happy to see the appreciation he has for each thing.
Always, always, always remember why you love them. This week has been a big surprise to me, in a different way. No offense to my husband, but I felt that I was more of the spiritual backbone, always pushing us to do better. Of course, he has always been spiritual himself leading and guiding in his patriarchal role, but I did feel that it was moreso myself. I have realized this week that he has been my strength; I have been falling short and feeling sorry for myself while he has been pushing, encouraging and making me want to do better. That has been the number one quality I searched for in a person and to see it in action with the man I know that Heavenly Father gave to me has been beyond amazing.
I guess that is the main reason why I felt inclined to write this post. Just find a person who will truly uplift you, that is absolutely the most important quality. Once you find that person just stick with them, throughout everything. Lastly, just get married and make your own happily ever after!
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