Well well it's that time for another annoying alliteration! 

Marring Mishaps

 - My look at the dentist is constant ridiculous. I feel foolish every time I enter that place. 

- Wanting a hairstyle but with no direction to give a stylist, I digress.

- A cousin sent me this after a look a old photo albums. I daresay WHAT am I wearing? And why is my hair looking so atrocious?

- Working early in the mornings this week! Which is forcing me to sacrifice my beauty sleep. UGH. I need to be awoken feeling recharged! Not dismayed that I feel beast like. 

Serene Serendipity

-Watched Pride and Prejudice twice in a 24 hour period. Marvelous. How did I miss out on this. 

- Brought back the pig tails. 

- PF Chang's for the first time!

- Listi sent me several videos of Kellan! They were adorable! Seriously it was so sweet of her, she knows how sad it makes me to miss out on seeing him often.

- Faith in God girls was this week! We had an adorable "Candy Land" theme complete with a scriptural version of the game. Also I made this beauty! Kit Kat Ice Cream Cake! Booyah 

- We are both leaving town early tomorrow for the Temple and Disney! Could there be a better pairing? NO WAY JOSE.

- Graham's best friend Sunny had a birthday party this week. Thanks for inviting us to celebrate with you, Sunny!

- Sunday my angel baby was blessed at church, we had to sacrifice it for another important occasion, lil Graham gave his first talk in our new ward! 

- The Granger, Lacey and Graham trip is in less than a month! Eek I just love my brother. 

9-11 Memorial

    Usually I avoid listening to the typical mainstream radio stations. This has definitely been something Graham and I just started. It was fairly coincidentally too, both two weeks ago we both ironically listened to different stations for a day (no real reason why) came home to tell the other person and we felt much more at ease. So Graham listens to Christian Rock music (I just can't get into it- I don't feel the spirit with any type of rock music, Christian or not). I listen to a station that plays jazz, movie scores and other harmonious tunes- I love the various music plus I don't feel guilty about listening. 

    But I haven't quite been able to quit cold turkey. The only time I listen to other stations is during my commute to work. There is a particular station that had a host of radio personalities that keep me rolling. Every morning they do a funny segment about calling people anonymously that I usually try to catch. Well today I was listening and the topic was quite different. Today is 9-11. 

    You know how some memories get etched into tour brain, sure to never move? It is one of those for me. I remember that day easily in 2001, even though I was only 9 years old. My fourth grade class was working on a worksheet when several teachers came inside to speak privately to my teacher. My teacher left for quite some time, someone was assigned the coveted position of Name Taker. Finally my teacher came pack wiping away tears. "Children the World Trade Centers has been hit." I had no clue what that was. Before explaining, she left again to go back to the library to watch it on the news. 

    I went home on the normal bus and dashed inside. To my surprise the news was on my television at home- I don't recall any other time seeing the news on so early, we were a nightly news family. So I sat on the armrest of the couch and watched with Mama a replay as the first tower was struck. I listened to the reporter yelling as the second one was hit on live tv. I still didn't grasp it though- why did this matter to us? I remember Mama was emotional as well, which was out of the ordinary. I asked her that question, she tried to explain to my young mind an appropriate answer.

    Ugh. aNow I can see why. It becomes more real as I've gotten a little bit older, the depth of the situation more clear. I can not help to imagine the questions that surely poured into every mind... Is that the end of the attacks? Did I know anyone involved? Will this take us to war? Who could do this? Am I safe here? 

    It is scary to relive that. But once a teacher told my class, "that was a terrible incident in the history of America, but we as citizens were never as united as we were then." The sheer love of our country brought us all together, one nation and one purpose.

    So earlier I spoke of the radio hosts I enjoy in the early morning- well guess what? They're located in New York. So today they recapped what it was like 12 years ago: a massive chaotic day as listeners call in with shattering news, tearful confessions and seeking some consolation from their newfound fears. They finally stopped. Just stopped their bits in their tracks. It was too much.

    Then they had the horrible dilema- to stay at home tw next day as the hoped for sadety or to return to work? On September 12 they came back on air, when they almost stayed home so shocked by what had just happened. I want to (roughly) quote from a host who worked at the station: "It turned in to listeners calling in, everyone helping each other out. Some called in their address if people needed socks, others for shoes. Then we got calls from crews on site saying 'keep playing! Keep doing your job! We need you guys!' Laughter was medicine for them." 

    Personally, it was very touching to hear of the kindness and determination of those individuals. 9-11 will always be a memorable day... I certainly do love my country. Truly I pray that God will bless America 🇺🇸

Who will I become..?

    Ugh! Today is just one of those excruciating, grueling long days when you realize it's only 3 o'clock and you've done enough to be ready in bed already. Thats me; I'm exhausted in so many ways. But on days like today when sleeping isn't an option my mind always wonders in all directions to keep itself from shutting off- anyone else's? Maybe I'm the only one who does this, but in a sea of 7 million, I doubt it. If anything is continual recurrent is this disjointed thought stream there is a great likelihood that it is an important topic. Ayi-Ayi-Ayi; there is one that I just can't ward off today- I'm going to try to tackle it in writing. 

    While minding my own business, I was taken back by a recent situation. Someone confessed to my husband they knew I did not like them. He let me know... I was sort of shocked. Not because it wasn't true- no, it was undeniably correct. I disliked this person a great deal. I voiced it many times, particularly to Graham. Then apparently I voiced it to the wrong source and they relayed the message. What shocked me about the situation what how I felt about it. Initially I was smug, happy they knew. Why wouldn't I want them to know about it?! Then I began to think it over and couldn't quite fathom why that would make me happy. Surely that made them uncomfortable knowing somewhere there was a person who disliked them enough for it to be made known. Did they feel ashamed, confused? How did they feel about me after learning that? It led me to think about many things, mostly an analysis of myself.

   You see, it's hard for me to see my own faults sometimes. I like to poke fun at myself, but true underlying weaknesses I typically brush under the rug and refuse to bring to the surface... There are even a few things about me that I don't even like. These are all things I deal with at times: I can be painfully stubborn, I tend to hold a grudge for long periods of time, I allow ill feelings take up too many of my thoughts. 

    Okay. I've said it- I don't know whether recognizing them makes me feel better or worse about myself, but now you all know a little bit more about me. 

    Aren't they horrible? Seriously! All three of them combined can leave a fermented mind. I can tell you that it is not something I enjoy. Sometimes I find myself being stubborn or holding a grudge or just thinking unkind thoughts and I resolve to stop it immediately- but then my little companion Pride gets in the way and all is lost. I wonder if I am correctly portraying this- allowing one thing to affect mecan allow access for many to affect me. 

   How do you get them to stop? Is there a way? Okay, in truth I know the answer to that. And I think that I have in small, small ways tried to diminish them. My biggest determining factor is Jesus Christ. It astounds me to think of a utterly perfect man. When I feel discouraged, I like to think of the apostles blessed to learn directly from him yet who abandoned the work shortly after his crucifixion. One of the best General Conferences addresses I can remember on this topic was given by Jeffrey R Holland titled "The First Great Commandment." If you haven't read, please do, it is a wonderful talk. If you have heard it, just reread it. For all you lazy bums (me) there is even a video! Here is the link:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/the-first-great-commandment?lang=eng

 

    If you choose to read it, I guess I am (definitely in a small way) comparing myself to it. I've had the knowledge to know better than to allow certain feelings dictate my actions, to change who it is that I become. All day this same thought has plagued me: is that who I want to become? Will I let small insignificant acts or words change who I am? I can honestly say- nay. While I may find myself in a struggle with some of my characteristics, I can hardly tell of my desire to help my Savior in His quest!! I want to feed His sheep, to proclaim of His divinity, to be the best I can be as I stand as a witness for Him. I refuse I let unimportant things get in the way, from here on out. I aim to rid myself of dislike towards any person, deserving or not. I can only hope that I haven't caused many ill feelings with people, if I have I shall do better.

    Lastly I have contemplated what to do next. Certainly strive to better myself, but what about the act of restitution? An apology is definitely called for (I hardly know how to approach that one my ego is so big) is that all that I should do? And with an apology how should I go about it? Any recommendations? 

    I find myself falling short so often. I know that I am going to do better, to be the best I can... Starting by liking everybody ;) 

Too late at the Library

    So it is 11 pm Graham and I are at the library at his old college. It's freezing in here, like 66! I prefer a 76 average temperature. Not this frozen wasteland, too bad you left your jackets at home nonsense. 

    Anyways I am trying to cram in completing all my schoolwork into one month like always. Online school has its advantage for sure! I love being on my own time tables, then again I always use it as a disadvantage ;) So I procrastinate, Graham scolds me like a child and every final month before a semester ends I pray that I'll have the strength to complete my tasks! What makes me do this? How can I stop? 

    On the plus side, I'll graduate with my teaching degree next year! Hallelujah on the end being in sight. Then I can have a real job that doesn't invoke baby bibs, trying to teach Spanglish and cleaning up things no one should ever see on a floor. 

    I can not wait to be a teacher! I hope that I love it as much (well more) than I loved substituting. Keeping my goals in mind encourage me to get to the finish line :)

    Thank goodness for deadlines which require perseverance!  

Labor Day Weekend- LATE ;)

    I know my last blog was talking about how thankful I am for work (and I am)- but dang if I don't love a break now and then. Actually I had a Friday- Monday off so I have been extra spoiled. It seems to take forever to type all of this out on my phone- this post has been a work in progress for four days! ;)

    Friday was just one of those utterly relaxing days. To start it off I slept for 12 hours! I haven't been able to do that since getting in a regular sleeping schedule. Even when I woke up basically I just folded clothes while watching Phantom of the Opera. I don't know if that sound like fun to y'all but I watched it two and a half times (my family did not enjoy it enough to finish the last half sadly), each time blasting it out through my surround sound system (it's a small one, but still gets the job done) and reading the subtitles to sing merrily along. Strangely enough, the last time I have watched it was about 5 minutes after we became engaged last October. So it brought back many memories and evoked a series of emotions.  

    After that, nearing the 6 o'clock mark Graham finally came home from work. He insisted that a package was downstairs for me but he wasn't sure if was delivered to the correct Alexander's- his brother living across the street- after a little complaining I finally went to check to see what all the hubbub was about. it was a PRESENT!!! Eeeeeeeek. Opened it up to see the cutest little bear, but, wrapped around its' neck was my wedding band! Oh my gosh it is so adorable and I am obsessed. It is so gorgeous. Check it out!

My new ring!

 

     So Friday. Just a fantastic lazy  day... We finished it up by grabbing a quick meal from Maggiano's, watched an episode of Sherlock and finally Graham played video games at his friends' house for a bit. After he had ample time to gun down a few pedestrians (I really hate that game) we left for his parents house to stay the night. 

    Bright and early Saturday morning we were up! Graham was going with his Dad to watch the first 2013 Florida Gators game, I was headed home to wait for a posse of Mizell's to arrive. So we parted ways, which I must be way too crazy about him because I was definitely missing him all day, each destined to have fun. So all I know about Graham's day was that he spend quality time with his Dad, ate a monster snow cone, watched UF beat Toledo, and saw his Nana for a bit. 

    Well about 11am my caravan of people showed up! My mama, sister, youngest brother Granger and Grandma Marilyn all came down just for me- okay well Listi came to shop- but the rest came because they love me :D 

    To be frank, I have cleaned like a mad woman for the past two weeks trying to sort out my guest bedroom which quickly became converted into a storage room after we moved in. Ugh, cleaning this room was rough. After all that time though,I thought I did a pretty decent job! Until my Grandma saw the room and promptly gave me the look of shame. I died a little on the inside and am determined to finish sorting everything out. 

    But I was so enthused to hear that my sweet little dearest baby brother really wanted to see his big sister! I was a little teary eyes thinking about it. Since the day of his birth when the nurse let me hold him before anyone else, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for him. Plus he's my brother and all my siblings mean the world to me. 

    So all day we did all kinds of fun things! Ate at the outback with my Mother-in-Law Camille, shopped til we dropped at Ross (I only made one purchase and it was NOT clothes for me. Yay for avoiding temptation!), and finally hung out at my house for the rest of the afternoon. 

    I know I say it all the time but I will say t again- I LOVE my family!

    So on to Saturday evening. To be brief- my peeps left, we got a Pastry Ring (HUGE YUM SOUND ADDED HERE) and I looked over my lesson for the Sunbeams.

    Fast& Testimony meeting (basically we share our testimonies with the congregation and also skip to meal on behalf of some cause for all my non LDS readers) was Sunday- I think it might be my favorite Dubday of the month. Graham or I haven't been able to share our testimonies since May (Um, I try to ever month so this was a big deal) because we had too many speakers lined up or being in Georgia. Alas, I was determined to speak! I did eventually sneak up there; I love sharing my testimony. And even my boy had the chance to before the Bishop had time to close the meeting out. He actually referred to me as his "new beautiful wife" to which I blushed and loved him more than ever. 

     In Primary I discovered the Sunbeams are awesome! They are beyond quirky and advanced, I can see that they are taught at home. They were definitely disappointed that I had no treats so I promised to do better next week. One little girl requested "pink things with the white middle?" Um, pink wafer cookies is the best guess I can come up with. 

    Well after church we headed up to Abbeville Georgia, to go to my uncle and aunt's cabin on the Ocmulgee River. As a brief pit stop I visited with my Uncle Luke, Aunt Kelly and the three sweet boys. I don't know what it is that makes me love them as if they were my children but I do.

    Even Graham likes the baby. Let him deny- I have the photos :)

    For the remainder of Sunday and Monday we spent a fabulous time at the river! We grilled, kayaked and just had a wonderful time together. As we left Graham said, "wow your family is really redneck!" Haha- he didn't know it would be accepted back home as a compliment. Thank you Uncle Joey and Aunt Sharon for letting us stay! I am eagerly awaiting the next trip to Abbeville :)

    Granger stayed in the water the entire time. I love my baby brother so much!!!

    The dock after an intense rain session! This is the new dock by the way.

     Hayden sure loved the cake we had in honor of Uncle JD's 76th Birthday hahaha!

    After a short lived kayaking trip. We wanted to kayak for an hour long trip, but less than a minute from when we were dropped off it began to rain heavily! And typically, it was freezing. 

(Sidnenote: We saw something suspiciously gator-like and, of course, Graham had to paddle over and get to the bottom of it. Well as he hit it with his paddle he fell out of the kayak. Not sure if I mentioned it was raining on us intensely. And the rest of us were several yards from him! Luckily it was not an alligator.)

Jobless for a Time

    In honor of a long Labor Day weekend I have the day off! It feels GREAT :) Although I know from experience that it is not nearly as fun if it is an everyday thing. Actually, I've thought about writing this for a while, but I always have decided against it.... But today it feels right? If that is somehow able to made sense. 

    So everyone who has read my blog knows a few things about me: I was just a talkative girl from Georgia who fell in love with a quirky Floridian. We were engaged after a year and it was decided I would move to Florida. Graham had a nice job, I was going to college online, things just worked out. We found an apartment, we were wed on April 13th, everything was more perfect that could possibly be planned. 

    And then April 19th Graham found out he lost his job. We had been married 6 days- we hadn't even had our second reception yet! But there we were, both jobless and on our own. Neither of us have felt very comfortable sharing this story with others- I would think many of my close family and friends would be surprised if they read this. When the subject is brought up, it seemed like everyone was shocked and looked at us with disdain- as if we weren't ready for marriage at all. In all the honesty I can relay, it is true that we were not worried when it happened. Now that doesn't mean we were happy about it or wanted it to occur, by any means. We had tried our best to do everything the right way, and knew we were not going to be left alone. It is also true that Graham and I have an intense faith that Heavenly Father would not forsake us. We hoped something would work out soon, but we had no doubt that eventually something would. 

    In case anyone is wondering, we did not go on a traditional honeymoon at this time.We planned to go on a cruise, but with our finances so insecure we decided to hold off. We did go on day trips to Disney, which wasn't too far or costly. We tried o live frugally as possible- generally we just stayed at home together. (While I love my dear baby boy, I can say that it was sometimes an overkill to be together nonstop. Trust me, married or not, people need their own space sometimes.)

  May rolled over and nothing had changed. Graham woke up each day and applied to numerous places. He dedicatedly tailored his resume for each job, asked about interviews, then follow up interviews and would persistently call to touch bases. Meanwhile our first set of bills came in, luckily there were not many. Even better, we had both saved a good deal from our previous jobs- but who wishes to use all of their savings up in the first month of marriage?

    So we paid what we owed and prayed that things would work out swiftly. I can not speak for G, but I can for myself- while I knew things were going to get better I did find myself stressing at times. I hope it doesn't seem as a severe lack of faith, although I did succumb to the "natural (wo)man."

    Then mid-May I applied for a nannying position. A nervous wreck, I met up with two different women for two successful interviews. I was thrilled to have a week long trial period to see if I was a good fit. By the end of the week I was invited to work permanently, 30 hours a week with great pay. I was beyond ecstatic to accept. Later on, I found out that the family had went through several nannies who didn't fit the bill. I was amazed- certainly it wasn't my actions that helped me really stand apart. I knew that was a blessing. 

    The day that I started my job Graham was extended an offer for an excellent position, one which would build his resume and pay above his previous job. We were awe struck. How did we both manage to go from jobless to employed in less than a week? Easy answer: we were blessed because we had the faith. I know things do not always go as planned-Hey, just retread this post if necessary- But I do know things will work out if we are truly doing what is right. If we have faith in our Heavenly Father's plan and live by that, things will always work out. 

    This experience was another addition to my ever growing testimony. When I find myself dreading another work week or even lazing around on a day like today I think back on those times... It makes me so happy to see how far we have progressed in that one simple aspect. I love my job, I love my husband, I love my relationship with Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. If anyone doubts their love, I can promise it is there! I am eternally happy because of it.

Thursday, without the Thirsty

    Marring Mishaps

- Spending 2 1/2 hours and 2 weeks pay to get one tooth fixed. Not to mention the multiple shots and throbbing jaw which lasted two more days. 

- Suffering from "Baby Fever." Graham is constantly so annoyed by me if I mention it. Realistically it makes sense to wait a bit (I should have my bachelor's by Next December and we are still newlyweds) but I can't help it!  Everyone seems to be preggo / giving birth to a darling baby. 

- Putting off my laundry folding to write this post ;) It can wait- right?

- Finding a picture of myself as my hair was being highlighted; you can't stop being awesome folks.

- Graham losing his set of keys, his spare key *and* a copy of his spare key in 5 days. Luckily the spare key and copy were found. I'm debating on gluing it to his hand.

Serene Serendipity

- My total weekend of relaxation in Daytona. (See previous post.) It was the perfect getaway!

- Baby Kellan gave me the stank eye when I tried to take him from Graham! Family trait, I guess :)

- Celebrating Labor Day by two 4-day work weeks. Hallelujah!! 

- Slightly embarrassing,but I finally realized why the Book of Mormon is called just that! Mormon was in charge of abridging (which I always thought simply meant adding pages, however it means summarizing). He built the book (figuratively)! Definitely wish I knew this years ago.

- My fabulous (seriously, she's fabulous) sister-in-law led the way for Faith In God girls facials this week. They loved it! Heck, I loved it. My face is even rejoicing.

- Trying to motivate myself from Graham's example to calorie count! No weight loss plans, just I maintain. I now have "My Fitness Pal" downloaded to help with this task. Heaven knows I am to lazy to otherwise. This quote gives me strength.

(Just kidding, y'all know my boy is the perfect one for me!)

- I think Disney is in our sights in the next few weeks. Eek! 

- New callings at church! I teach the 3 year- old Sunbeams and G is the 1st Counselor in the Elders Quorum. We are both excited and glad to be worthy of them.  

- Our two year anniversary to everything is coming up! I'll explain more later. I have plans to do a reminiscent blog when it becomes closer.

- I just feel happy. I've been kind of run down recently, I think most of it had to do with the lack of friendship I have found here in Jacksonville. (Back home I had known everyone since elementary school... there wasn't really a need to try to make friends.) But I've decided that I DO like it here, better yet, I have the best friend I could ever ask for here with me. My husband deserves all the praise I can give him- he works so hard for the two of us to be happy together. He is definitely my strength, in every way of the word. I love him so much more than I could ever explain.

    Well sorry to get gushy on the last part;) But hey, y'all know me by now. I am glad that my life has played out the way that it has. I definitely have I work hard and sacrifice some things, but I have been so rewarded. My mishaps only help to cherish the serendipitous moments. I hope this finds everyone is a peaceful day.