So Wednesday Graham and I attended a baptism of a youth (14, I think). It was very touching! As we left we spoke to the sister missionaries who we were feeding the next night, to figure out what kind of a meal they wanted. After living life as a picky eater, you appreciate that type of thing. So taco soup was on the menu!
Walmart was the next destination, because I literally hadn't bought groceries in a month! We both piddled around in the car before we got out, I was finishing up a round of Candy Crush (curse that addictive game) and Graham was probably pondering how old his two- day scruff made him look (he told someone he looked 17 at the baptism) when we saw a squat little lady looking mildly suspicious. This woman was laying down flat looking under cars, then she would stay up and take a puff from her cigarette and try the next car. Perplexed when she came to our car Graham asked what was going on. Turned out this woman was generously offering her break time to help a family find their lost twenty dollar bill- how often do you find people like that? So she continued looking and we opted on what to do. In the meantime we saw the vehicle of the people who lost the money and it seemed beyond chaotic. The two adults were angry with one another so they yelled and dropped the F bomb; verrry awkward stuff in a public parking lot. But we decided to help and went about two rows over and began to search. After a biter don't have any luck and Graham checked his wallet for cash. He didn't have a single dollar bill in his, meanwhile I knew I was empty beyond a singular twenty but, honestly dreaded to say it. You see folks, I am not the compassionate one! I am the hoarder who can hardly give to people what we work so hard for, while my husband is the type to give and try to fill a need... We began looking again. Finally we realized the money was long gone, our endeavor fruitless. I looked at the car and thought these people were making a mountain out of a molehill- it was just 20$! Then I heard a little girl in the backseat whine- probably about the stifling weather- for her mother to respond, "Will you just SHUT UP?" I could not stand it! This poor child was innocent; how could se treat her daughter like that? I was so mad I snatched out my wallet and have Graham the cash. I do not want anyone to think that I was being kind in this moment, I really wasn't- it was more out of anger towards the thoughtless lady, yet feeling so sorry for the child that had to deal with her. Graham gave it to the employee, asking if she would hand it to them. She did, but mother who refused to accept it. The father, still searching, did take it and thanked us. (Also not why we gave it, we felt bad that he found out it was us who offered it.)
Finally that was out of my mind and I shopped to my heart's content, buying things to keep us from eating out, dreading walking outside because the rain sounded like a monsoon. We checked out and stood next to the door watching the rain come down in biting sheets. The room was packed with ladies with buggies, waiting on men to drive their vehicle up to spare them from the pour. Well, lo and behold, the same little lady who searched for the 20$ stood next to us! She began talking to Graham, thanked him for his kindness. She began to tell the story of what happened, "Apparently as the family got to Walmart and tried to get out- the mom went to help the daughter and the twenty slipped out of her hand. That is why she was so mad with her little girl. But then she went berserk! She was yelling and looking everywhere. They didn't have any money besides that. Even after I gave her your money she still couldn't calm down..." As she rambled on with the story I felt like I had just been slapped. That was all they had- a twenty... Wow. Sometimes do you ever just feel put in your place? I was.
Immediately I offered a prayer of gratitude to Heavenly Father for knowing my weaknesses (sweet children) and working through that, when he realized I would not be as generous on my own. Then I tried to imagine the family going hungry when I literally had a full buggy in front of me. I was absolutely not in the right to be so harsh and not at all compassionate, I feel sure of that. I felt so thankful for the opportunity to help, even if I begrudgingly took it.
Truly, I know God exists. I know He is aware of our individual situations, He wants to help us. He also uses us to help others, inaware as we may be. I can never tell others of how many times he has rebuked me in a way that has made me wish to better myself (definitely counting this time). I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that it is through the blessings of it that I have such a wonderful life.
Thanks for reading- I hope everyone has a great weekend!
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