Let me take you back, back to the summer I was a 14 year old. I jammed out to punk rock boy bands, was an avid Spongebob fan and was impressed I finally had a best friend who stuck around. I was thrilled to be headed to the High School, me, a freshman. One day my Granma Alice dropped by a book she found in the high school's parking lot, knowing I read anything my fingers could grasp. 

 "Daughter of Venice," by Donna Jo Napoli- the same author I had the opportunity to meet in middle school but decided not to (kicking myself now). Napoli wrote about a girl my age wondering the ancient city of Venice, Italy with a newfound and forbidden love, trying her best to shy away from the life society had mapped out for her. I relished in it, her sorrows were mine, as it captivated my every interest; we even seemed to favor in looks. By the time I finished the book I had to start it fresh from page one to live vicariously through it again. My little mind couldn't fathom any other place I would want to be in the world....

    Fast forward 8 years later and the same thought kept popping up into my head, totally Ghost Of Christmas Past style, "ittttaaalllly!" And then a series of fortunate events happened: Graham said he was required to take a week off from work, I realized my school schedule would be in harmony, we don't have any kids to tie us down and we thought YOLO right? Can't you just substitute me with Lizzie McGuire as she marveled over buckets and buckets of gelato? (But definitely stop there, totally not riding off into the sunset with another man on a moped.) So we nixed all plans of smaller trips we had played around with, started saving immediately and I just bought our round trip tickets to spend 10 days in Italy :)

    While I let my brain calm down from the crazed storm that came from finding non-agonizing plane tickets, I'm fixing to purchase my old book and dream of the days I'll be in Rome, Venice, Florence or wherever else we can get to. As they say in Italian: chow! 

Judgment

    I've had a great desire to write lately, yet I've wondered: how can I approach such a delicate subject? I always try to play devil's advocate, it's one of those annoying habits I've picked up from Graham. But I just can't quite judge all equally, emphasis added towards members of my faith.
    LDS/Mormons. Ahh, I can sincerely say that these are the types of people most dear to my heart. The bond of our religious convictions is truly unlike any other, it unites with a firm hold. I'm mesmerized when I hear of folks remaining faithful; my heart swells with pride the moment I hear of someone sticking to their values, I even cheer on vivacious celebrities proclaiming 'true to the faith!' (Yes David Archuleta, I mean you!) It's not too outlandish to say that my day begins to exceed the brightness of the sun when I hear of the sheer impact others positively bring to the gospel.
    On the flipside, I am distraught when one makes massive changes unaligned to the standards, forgoes the knowledge they have gained or simply leaves the Church altogether. Deep in my inner- most being I feel saddened, I long for the aid these people need... And there it is, a bit of judgement mixed in with all of the remorse. How could you do that? Why wouldn't you think that through? Did you even think at all? I, for one, get harsh.

    When I initially wrote on this, my fingers couldn't stop, I had very personal anecdote written out to accompany this, absolutely my fashion. Graham and I verbally had this conversation, and I shared that specific story for the first time which him, afterwards undecided not to harp upon that instance- haven't we all fallen short? Haven't we each had to repent after the guilt toppled over? But I can voice from firsthand experience, that it is not always easy to refuse judgement towards anyone! But it certainly is important to realize how you approach situations.

    The final say I want to include comes from 2 men of great faith. The first comes from my husband. 

    "When necessary, use discretion."

    How perfectly worded, right? Of course we shouldn't judge in the sense that we allow ourselves to feel superior towards others, but we have to use our best judgement in situations. As long as the situation is directed towards us we are required to make decisions in our best interest! To expand in a different realm, I offer these words from Pres. Dieter F. Utchdorf of the General Presidency.

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it."

    Thus, while we should not pass judgement, we should use judgement. A concept I hadn't grasped until now, as silly as that sounds. My agency is so important to me, I love making my own choices, I love learning more each day... The gospel is a place of growth, hope and love. I hope we each can wisely judge, always aiming to do better than the past.

A MISSIONARY

    A midst my blog, I have written fairly extensively over my brothers, they're always eager to come and spend time with me, they love for me to put them up as they run a muck. My sister is completely different; she is a homebody, often sour and ominous. (I mean don't get me wrong, she can be normal and all, but she knows she is entirely too sassy at times.) I certainly can not put into words my shock at her recent decision. As of yesterday, she has officially submitted her papers to become a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter -Day Saints.


What is a missionary? What will she be doing? Where will she go?

     A young man at age 18 or a young woman at age 19 who is eligible to serve a LDS mission is called a 'missionary,' in other words- individuals who volunteer to be representatives of the LDS Church who engage variously in proselytizing, church service, humanitarian aid, and community service. The most basic part of her job will be to testify about Jesus Christ's divinity, his Atonement, and the Restoration of his Church. In addition to this, she will serve in multiple capacities to the people she will be in communication with, the local church she will be going to and the region to which she will live. She will be assigned a location from somewhere throughout the world through revelation, gained after fasting and prayer from our church's leaders. Simply put, her picture will show up on a screen and she will be handpicked to the location the Lord desires her efforts. She will not pick a specific location, but is hoping to stay stateside!


                    Click this link to see all of the possible missions Listi could be sent to!

    Too, there is a possibility that she will be sent to learn another language, even if she stays in the States! If so she will spend an additional 6+ weeks at the Missionary Training Center (MTC), the place where missionaries have a quick chance to learn Missionary-esque skills. I have heard several, recent stories of those called to serve in the US with Spanish speaking missions who were sent to Mexico's MTC due to overcrowding- so she may get a chance to leave the country yet. Her mission papers will tell her when, where she will report to and what mission she will serve in shortly. We think she should know a definite local in two weeks, I am way more excited about the 'where' than even Listi is! I can hardly wait!

    Our family is so exceptionally proud, thrilled even, that she has chosen such an honorable decision. I must say that this is our intermediate family's first ever sister missionary, and only second missionary! (The last being Luke who came home July 2000.) So we are all trying to learn the ropes of what an individual must do in order to be ready for a mission, and trust me when I say there is LOTS to do! I'm trying to assist where I can, to help out, and all day Saturday was spent with just Listi and I shopping for clothes she could bring.
    See, almost everything the "elders" (male missionaries) and "sisters" (female missionaries) will do or will wear has strict guidelines. Being a missionary is not easy. They have a daily schedule, daily routines including exercising, scripture study, companionship inventory (Graham eyeroll's this one constantly), tracting, inviting, teaching, searching, serving- they're always on the go. Sisters will exclusively wear dresses or skirts, Elders don suits and ties and everyone always has a clip on name tag proclaiming their representation of our faith. They are only allowed to write home on their personal day (once a week), and are only permitted calls on Mother's Day and Christmas. She is expected to serve for 18 months like this.
    It doesn't even sound easy to me as I write it behind a keyboard! So why is there currently over 83,000 of these individuals worldwide? I think, the majority of them are still in the mission field because they care enough about people to help them to gain an understanding of the true gospel of Jesus Christ.

     I didn't serve a mission, but my Graham did, and I see how it has positively shaped his life.
    I didn't serve a mission, but I will still shout hurray! from the rooftop til my sister returns with honor.
    I didn't serve a mission, but my family can still reap the benefits from my husband & sister's decision to go.

    Listi, I want to write just a few things, exclusively to you.

#1.) Our family loves you so much, we've loved you long before this decision, but hope that you will remember this on your hardest days.
#2.) You are bringing honor to our name. No matter where you go, we hope that our own Sister Mizell, you!, will continue to thrust in your sickle like never before.
#3.) We are going to try our best to keep everyone updated here, we'll try to send you weekly emails and boxes full of sweets, but hope you will forget all of these small things and throw yourself into the work.
#4.) Remember to be kind to all you see, your companions, investigators, ward members- we hope they'll love and care for you when we can't.
#5.) After you've gave your all, after lots of trial and lots of joy, we desire for you to return home with honor.
#6.) We just really love you.

You can't go wrong by doing what's right!

    This is a busy time birthday-wise for my family. My cousin Cody turned 16 on the 21st, my other cousin Hunter turned 14 on the 22nd and today is my Grandma Marilyn's birthday. I have her a quick call this morning and she responded with the typical, "to me this is just another day!" (Which further adds to her humility.) The three of them have been on my mind the past few days.
    I had the opportunity to go visiting teaching with my devout companion Jill, who I dearly appreciate, and somehow or other we began to converse over spiritual matters with the sweet sister we were visiting. Following a prompting I shared a popular saying from my Grandma.

"You can't go wrong by doing what's right!"

    Every time I hear this I can't help but feel uplifted. Do you? Firsthand I know how hard it can be sometimes to do what's right at times. Sometimes it can he hard, annoying or going against a first instinct. About a month ago I realized I accidentally mixed someone else's grocery bag with my own when I was packing things into my car. I momentarily debated whether I wanted to hustle back inside to make an exchange, since my key remote doesn't work which causes a long time to get my doors ready, I would have to run in to catch the proper owner, I'd have to figure out how to explain myself... Sometimes our choices can be same, seemingly menial- definitely like this situation. I decided my integrity wasn't worth a few rolls of toilet paper, so I found it's true owner and I was surprised that she seemed impressed and grateful towards me. As I share this, I also want to say that I'm not always one to jump to do the right thing, don't think because of one anecdote I am, however I have faith that when I do those things I am going to be blessed in return. A perpetual cycle, promised to each of us.
    I've decided that I'm going to adopt the above phrase as my personal motto; you just can't do too many 'right' things. And lastly, I know that we each go through trying times, times of failure, times of weakness- where we, through some way, don't do what we should. To that I reiterate: "It is never too late as long as the master of the vineyard says there is time," Elder Jeffrey R Holland said at this talk, found in Matthew 20:1-15. :) Until later my friends!

Mother's Day Weekend Shenanigans

     As we climbed into a lifeguard chair one night, absolutely disregarding the DO NOT CLIMB sign, we decided to be cute and produce a picture worthy of a valentine's day catalog. Total bust! 

    Graham's still super model material.

    But onward to the weekend we trudged. I feel pretty secure that we grappled the title of "Best Son/Daughter" from the hands of whomever currently held it. For my mother we snuck up into town bearing gifts, for Graham's mother we brought a few favorite things.

    My family after sacrament in Douglas! Daddy, Mama, Acey, Granger, Listi, Me and Graham. I love them all more than life itself!

    Mama'a gift basket, complete with Peterbrooke long-stemmed strawberries.

    I sneakily took pictures of Camille's reaction to her puppy card :)

    (Puppy Rory makes me really want a little furball!)

    The inside, including a picture of current Rory.

    As late as it is, I still must proclaim that we have been blessed with two wonderful, loving mothers. Both of then are so special to me. I love you both!

BONUS. Look who crawled up into the bed with me Saturday night! 

Mistakes everywhere

     Last night I was awake until 3. 3, I say, 3! I haven't been up that late in many moons, yet sleep eluded me, probably a direct cause of a lengthy nap. Considering I wasn't interested in watching tv, I browsed around on a few of my favorite blogs. Without meaning to, I actually started to comb over my own. (I kind of know that I technically just listed my own blog as one of my preferred spots, but it fascinates me to read my thoughts over different stages; I'm not that vain.) My first blogs were wedding related, dealing with money or just general essays. I kind of impressed myself as I read then, shocked by the bulk of the earliest ones. Nowadays my posts seem to be skirted, written without quick wit. I don't like that. I really, really don't like that.

    When I think of my blog, I want to write a few inspiring words, whip out an egregious photo and feel confident in my work. Let's just say as I rehashed my more recent posts I found a spelling blunder that may or may not have been the term "hoes."  Yep, I'm still cringing, big sigh for all of the typographic errors found throughout this blog. 

    In total, I'm not a perfect writer. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I figure a little talent should always be spruced up with bits of criticism. Finally yes, autocorrect is my ultimate downfall. These are my words and I'm sticking to 'em!

   (Raunchy photo for your enjoyment.)

My Other Half

     My blog has been lax with details as of late, with good reasons! This is my last month of the semester, my job is changing up my hours and I'm soon to spend a little bit more time at the doctors office to run a few tests about a preexisting condition  (no reason to fret, also something I don't want to share just yet). 

    I've even been spending less time away from Graham too, which bums me out to no avail. Y'all just don't know! He works late most days, apart from that he spends several days visiting others or simply serving. He is just so good- able to do it all- he makes me feel like the laziest person in the world. 

    As staunch as he is in that sense, it's like a flipped coin when he's at home. He's always armed with a firm quip and game for the most silliest shenanigans! Last night we had the best time during an abrupt silly-string war at midnight. It was just befitting of our relationship! 

    A few nights ago during a discussion over everything and nothing, I made a comment that I marveled at, even as I said it, we are really living the dream. I don't take that expression lightly, our lives are not perfect by any means, but with Graham my life has felt closer to perfect than it ever has before.

    

    He unexpectedly called me up to request a date night earlier. We went out on the town and simply reconnected. Being married to him, well, it's just a pleasure.